Whew! For a while there, I was afraid today’s edition would not be posted for several days. As you can see, my site is finally back up, but my host is still investigating what caused it to go down in the first place.
To quote one of their customer support representatives: “Wow, I’ve never seen one do THAT before!” :blink_tb:
But at least it’s back up and after this weekend, all of the bugs should be gone. (I hope! LOL)
Now … on with the funnies!!!
Let’s start off with this one from Don:
I was at my bank today; there was a short line. There was just one woman in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, “Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?”
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, “Fluctuations.”
The Asian lady says, “Fluc you white people too!”
These are from Cookie:
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob’s hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt. Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, “What the heck’re ya doing, Billy Bob?”
“Good Lord, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me,” says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob. “Me ‘n the Ol’ Lady been havin’ trouble lately in the bedroom d’partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.”
(Now don’t make me come ‘splain this to you! Read the last line again … slowly.)
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, “How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?”
“Well,” he said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub.”
“Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”
“No” he said. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”
Have a good’un! :bye_tb: