Sorry, the funny bits are late. So, without further ado … via Cookie:
A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.
A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, ‘Are you a stranger here?’
He replies, ‘I lived here years ago.’
‘So, where were you all these years?’
‘In prison,’ he says.
‘Why did they put you in prison?’
He looked at her, and very quietly said, ‘I killed my wife.’
‘Oh!’ said the woman. ‘So you’re single…?!’
LOL! What’s sad … I know women like that! ;P
A little old man shuffled slowly into the ‘Orange Dipper’, an ice cream parlor in Leesburg, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’
‘No,’ he replied, ‘hemorrhoids.’