Currently browsing: Food

Making a change

One of my goals has long been to lose weight. It’s not much when you look at the big picture of things, but it’s something I’ve been struggling with because of work and family obligations and my consistently slipping off the diet. (Comfort food is too comforting!) I came to the decision that I can’t do this alone and today took a first step in a new direction. I met with a personal trainer where I’ve been going (or rather, haven’t been going) to work out.

Getting all of my proper measurements done and putting my goals in writing helped more than I realized. I feel really good about this. They’re going to set me up with a couple of people to work with. Learn how to work out and use weights properly. Learn what kind of diet I ~should~ be eating. I’ll be accountable for something, I’ll have to show up on the days I have committed whether I feel like working out or not. They’ll also be on me to come in and work out even on days I don’t work with a trainer.

I’m essentially paying someone to nag me.

And I feel good about this. It’s going to be hard as Hell. My body and my fat are really good friends. They’re not going to want to separate.

I’ve been working very hard to re-organize other parts of my life. It’s about time I started taking care of my health. My headaches are getting worse because of the stress. Getting back down to a healthy weight would help minimize my pain, and would give me another outlet for stress. Most of all, I want this. I want my pre-wedding body back. I want to be able to run up a half dozen flights of stairs and not feel like I’m going to pass out. I want to start kickboxing again.

I want to feel better. And I should’ve done this a long time ago.

Wish me luck!

Humpday Hilarities

Today’s funnies start off with these gems from Cookie:

A “different” Creation explanation

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, “You want chocolate with that?” And Man said, “Yes!” and Woman said, “and as long as you’re at it, add some sprinkles.” And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, “Try my fresh green salad.” And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, “I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.” And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it “Angel Food Cake,” and said, “It is good.” Satan then created chocolate cake and named it “Devil’s Food.”

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald’s and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, “You want fries with that?” And Man replied, “Yes! And super size them!” And Satan said, “It is good.” And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created Cuts to the Health Care System.

Amen.

I’d like to point out that:

In 2011, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address occur on the same day.

I want to take this time to point out:

It is an ironic juxtaposition of events; one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence and competence for prognostication, while the other involves a groundhog.

And last but certainly not least is a football-related funny from Jeff, written by Roy Exum for The Chattanoogan:

The Funny Side Of Losing

Of all the post-season bowl games, the one I anticipated the most was Saturday’s Capital One match-up between Alabama and Big Ten co-champ Michigan State, because I figured it would be a great game. Well, it turned out to be a 49-7 rout, which shows how mighty the Crimson Tide can be and how little I know about college football.

The problem is that a lot of Michigan State fans thought the same thing, as you’ll see in a minute. MSU, winning a share of the first Big 10 title in 20 years, had high hopes, but on a cold afternoon when the Big 10 would go 0-5 on New Year’s Day, the 24/7 message board on a Michigan State booster website during the game was hysterical.

Understand, the game was a mockery, grown men playing havoc with mere children. Alabama seemed to score at will, striking on the first five possessions while dominating the Spartans so badly on defense, MSU had only 171 yards in total offense compared to the Crimson Tide’s 543. MSU left the field with minus-47 yards rushing in the most lop-sided Orlando bowl ever.

Michigan State quarterback Kirk Cousins was sacked four times, finally leaving the game in the fourth quarter with “a severe headache.” After drumming up a 28-0 halftime lead, Alabama played mostly subs the second half – you get the picture, right?

Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio, who had whined before the game that his team wasn’t getting enough respect, said afterwards, “We were outcoached, we were outplayed, and we were out-physicaled and that’s just the way it is. Sometimes, you get an avalanche come on you and that’s just what happened.”

But the Spartans’ fans said it better. Allow me to share the MSU message board during the game:

“Julio takin’ us to schoolio.” (just after Alabama wide receiver Julio Jones ran 35 yards for a touchdown on a reverse.)

“Why are they allowing Alabama to play with 35 players on defense?”

“I think their punter is currently drinking around the world in Epcot.” (Alabama didn’t punt until midway through the third quarter).

“If we played 10 times, they would win 15.”

“If Cam Newton costs $200,000 for a season, how much is a 2nd half rental?”

“…and now Cousins is dead.” (referring to MSU’s starting QB after the fourth sack)

“If I was our QB I would hire an attorney and sue them for negligence or intentional infliction of physical and emotional distress.”

“I’m ready to accept MSU boosters paying for an offensive line. If we get caught I can deal with it.”

“This is getting out of hand…an Alabama defensive lineman just popped out of my TV and threw me 10 yards behind my couch.”

“Do you think this is how Custer felt?”

“We’re going to have a wing named after us at Orlando Regional Medical Center by the time this game finishes.”

“This is embarrassing. So are we officially a basketball school again?”

“I want to know how many times in the history of organized football that teams have punted on 4th and goal”

“So this is what they mean by team speed.”

“If I’m (Andrew) Maxwell, I fake an injury on the way to the huddle.” (referring to the MSU freshman backup QB, who was knocked out of the game three plays later).

It’s just like Mark Twain once said, “Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.”

Excellent article, Roy!

Holiday appropriate

It being the first day of December, I thought I’d put on the ole holiday dress-up for this site. Simple, but pretty nifty I still think.

Our Thanksgiving was fantabulous. Jim, Jess, and I loaded up the car and drove down to Jacksonville to surprise his aunt for her 75th birthday and spent Thanksgiving with his family.

IT. WAS. AWESOME!

Seriously, it was nice to finally have a family get-together where I didn’t have to stress over which parent to please, or what topics to avoid, or dreading what awful insult might be uttered from a particular person’s mouth, … We just sat around and chatted about family, food, and football. We ate a TON of food — including fried turkey, my favorite!!!

There were pies of every kind, and cakes, and ice creams of every imaginable flavor. There was baked turkey and stuffing. There was fried turkey. There was supposed to be a smoked turkey too, but it was accidentally burned, LOL! There was a plethora of cream cheese filled veggies, eggs, and other goodies. There were baked beans, and homemade mac ‘n cheese, and potatoes with gravy. (and God, I’m starting to get hungry just thinking of all this food!) We ate until our bellies felt as if they’d explode, then later we’d eat some more. We sat outside (and the weather was soooooooo nice!), watching the kids play football in the front yard and caught up on family that couldn’t make it or that were out of town.

It was great seeing some of Jim’s family that I’ve met over the past few years again, and even more fun meeting those I’d heard about but never met in person. I’m pretty sure my folks would have looked down on many of them, but I don’t care. These were my kind of people: simple, loving, and just plain fun.

There were a ton of kids around Jessie’s age. One particular set of cousins (twins, they were so cute!) latched onto Jessie and looked up to her, so of course she just soaked in the attention and all the funnery. In a way, it made me miss the old holiday family gatherings that my family used to have when I was a kid. Perhaps next year we’ll either do something similar up here, or just go back down there again!

We had originally planned to swing by to see my folks on the way home but that didn’t pan out. Part of me was worried about that, because (understandably) Jim didn’t want to go. Can’t say I blame him. I was dreading the visit for the very same reason: my father.

I am hoping to stop by and see them soon though, or maybe take them out to dinner. Jessie hasn’t seen them in so long, and I am hopeful that we might can just enjoy a nice night out for a change. There’s probably not a snowball’s chance in hell it will be as nice as I’m hoping, but I’m hopeful just the same. Maybe Christmas will be nice … I may be setting myself up for a disappointment, but hope is all I have and I have my claws dug in deep.

Hope y’all had a good one, I know I’m thankful that we did.

Fears

I think I’ve mentioned before that I have irrational fears. Most people I know are afraid of “normal” things … you know, snakes, spiders, clowns, zombies, etc. Me? I get hung up over the intangible, or improbable. Ever since starting this job, one of those irrational fears has become heightened — being trapped in a free-falling elevator. Remember the first Resident Evil movie? Yeah, I always turn my head during that scene.

If I think about it logically, I know that the odds of one of the elevators at work experiencing a major harm-causing malfunction while I happen to be in it are astronomically low. In addition to that, all of the elevators have safety measures in place in the case of an emergency, such as power outage, cable or brake failure, etc. But the thought creeps into my mind every single time I step foot into one of those things.

Once I made the mistake of sharing this with one of my coworkers. Funny enough, she won’t ride in the elevator with me anymore.

So today I had overslept and didn’t have time to make my lunch, forcing me to head down to the mall to grab something from the food court. I boarded one of the elevators just like I do every day — this one happened to be one of the glass elevators (which I hate even more than the others). About halfway down, there was a loud “SNAP!”. The lights went out and the elevator screeched to a halt. “No big deal,” I kept telling myself. They’ve stopped before and would sometimes get “stuck”, sitting on certain floors, so you’d just have to get off and board another one.

But then it dropped. DROPPED! It wasn’t but just a few feet, but it was enough to make my heart skip a beat and suddenly every elevator nightmare I’d had came flooding back in an instant and I panicked.

OK, ‘panicked’ doesn’t even cover it — I. Flipped. My. Shit.

Sitting quietly for a second, my mind raced looking for answers:

“What should I do if I can’t get the doors open?”

“Where is the button I press to let someone know I’m trapped?”

“What do I do if it drops again?” Followed immediately by “No, don’t think like that, stupid!”

As if the elevator had read my mind, it dropped again for a few more feet, then opened its doors. Apparently the elevator had only dropped just enough to reach the next level so the doors could open (seeing out the window made it seem worse than it really was). I quickly leapt out of that thing as if my life depended on it. (which, in my panicked state of mind, it did!) I paced for the next minute, trying to calm myself and stop shaking — and trying to squelch the horrific scenarios playing out in my head.

About a minute later, I heard the power flicker back on, once again illuminating the car, and could hear the other cars moving along the levels above and below me. I could also see the other glass elevators moving along just fine … but I didn’t trust the motorized metallic bastard just yet. I decided it was safer to walk the next 9 stories down to the mall level, and kept a close eye on them as I ate my lunch.

Feeling a bit braver after I ate, I took the elevator back up to my floor. Thankfully the ride was uneventful this time, but I’m sure this will make for some more intense nightmares to come.

OK, new item added to the “someday job wishlist” — no elevators!

Spaghetti Tacos

As I was standing in front of my pantry last night waiting for culinary inspiration to hit me, Jessie made a suggestion for dinner: spaghetti tacos. She had gotten the idea from a recent episode of iCarly. At first I laughed (the show really is cute and I like to watch it with her), but the more I thought about it, the more I thought that it sounded pretty darned tasty! Granted, I cheated and used pre-made items, but it turned out great so I thought I’d share in case anyone else is looking for a new spin on an old family favorite.

You’ll need:

Jar of your favorite spaghetti sauce (or make your own)
Your favorite pasta
1 box of your favorite taco shells
Meat of choice, or meatballs
Cheese and/or other toppings of choice.

Steps:

Cook your pasta according to package directions. I made approximately 8 servings, using a mix of “regular” and wheat thin spaghetti noodles. This ensured that I would have made enough for everyone to get their fill, and would have plenty leftover for me to take with me the next morning for lunch! Next time I may use some medium-sized shells or perhaps angel hair.

While your pasta is cooking, cook your meat (or warm it if using pre-packaged) and set to the side. I used Tyson’s fajita chicken strips. These can be warmed in a skillet or in the microwave and are handy when I need to throw together a meal in a hurry. In a large skillet, combine your sauce and meat, and simmer until thoroughly warmed to desired temperature.

Warm your taco shells according to package directions. I used I used Old El Paso Stand ‘n Stuff shells. These things are handy because I can sit them down on a flat surface and stuff!

Once the shells are warmed, layer pasta, sauce, and desired toppings into your taco shell. We used Parmesan cheese, but I’ll be eating my leftovers today with a mix of Parmesan and sharp cheddar.

The finished product:

I think next time I’ll add some salsa and/or hot sauce to give it some kick!

Humpday Hilarities

Today’s funnies start off with these from Furry Talk:

Feline Physics Laws

Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force — such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction
A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat’s irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat’s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat’s interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn’t Matter.

And this one is courtesy of my Cotillion sister, Fausta:

Giving Up Wine

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, ‘If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?’

‘No, I had to stop drinking years ago’, the homeless woman told me.

‘Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?’ I asked.

‘No, I don’t waste time shopping,’ the homeless woman said. ‘I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.’

‘Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?’ I asked.

‘Are you NUTS!’ replied the homeless woman. I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!’

‘Well, I said, ‘I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.’

The homeless woman was shocked. ‘Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting…’

I said, ‘That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.’

And last but not least, some Iron Bowl humor courtesy of Teresa:

Bad storm brewing!!!!

The National Weather Service in Mobile, Alabama is following a hurricane developing in the Gulf of Mexico said to be the size of Mount Cody with Ingram-sized hail and Julio lighting. The storm is moving at Richardson speeds and has McClain-force winds. If you are in the Auburn area you can kiss your ass good-bye, ’cause the Tide is gonna be rolling in.

ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!

A random act of kindness

When I pulled up to the drive-through window at Burger King this morning, the manager told me that my meal was already “taken care of”. Apparently the customer in line ahead of me had paid for my meal. The manager told me that the lady said, “This is from an Auburn fan.”

How sweet is that?

To the nice Auburn lady who paid for my meal this morning — THANK YOU!

And … Roll Tide!!

3′s of Me

I was tagged by the lovely Angela on Facebook, but I’m a goober and wanted to post it here instead.

These were the original instructions:

You’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with the 3′s of YOU. At the end, choose 20 people to be tagged. You have to tag me so really you just need 19 more people. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you – but not in a creepy stalker kind of way.

I LOL’d at that last bit. Ok, so here goes nothing …

Three names I go by:
1. Nicki
2. Boo (only my husband is allowed to call me this)
3. Nitallica (well, no one really calls me that anymore)

Three Jobs I have had in my life:
1. Waitress
2. Billing clerk
3. Software developer

Three Places I have lived:
1. Mobile, AL
2. Corner, AL
3. Hueytown, AL

Three Favorite drinks:
1. Sweet Tea (no lemon!)
2. Sour Apple Martini
3. Grapico

Three TV Shows that I watch:
1. Burn Notice
2. The Closer
3. MythBusters

Three places I have been:
1. Sacramento, CA
2. Miami, FL
3. Minneapolis, MN

People that text me regularly:
1. Jim
2. Jim’s ex (hey, it’s better than her calling!)
3. Teresa

Three of my favorite foods:
1. Roast beef tips and gravy
2. Pretty much any kind of pasta
3. Chilli

Three friends I think will respond:
1. Teresa
2. Ben
3. Don

Three Things I am looking forward to:
1. FOOTBALL SEASON!!!!
2. Finishing the armful of books I’ve recently bought to read
3. The next time I see my sweet little angel girl.

Humpday Hilarities

Today’s funnies start off with these from my Cotillion sister, Janette:

The Atheist

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!” he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out: “Oh my God!…” Time stopped.

The bear froze. The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky: “You deny My existence for all of these years, teach others I don’t exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect Me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?”

The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the BEAR a Christian?”

“Very well,” said the voice. The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke:

“Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord Amen.”

BEAR HUNTING

Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Right after, there was a tap on his shoulder and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, “That was my cousin and you’ve got two choices … Either I maul you to death or we have sex.”
After considering briefly, Frank decided to accede to the latter alternative. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge.

He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, “That was a big mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you’ve got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex.” Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate.

Although he survived, it took several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear looked at him very sadly and said, “Admit it, Frank, you don’t come here for the hunting, do you?”

The Mother-In-Law

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.

The wife cried, “What are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” said the hunter husband. “The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”

And this one is from my pal, Rose:

This is even funnier when you realize it’s real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

~~Hi Sharon,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s not so bad after all . Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.

So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I’ve used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a Hot-Tub.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t shit for two days because my ass was swollen shut.

So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. Now repeat to yourself, ‘I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.’ Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?, or do I love my job.

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!

Tax Forms — It’s what’s for dinner!

“Hi honey, how was your day?”

That may be how some spouses greet their other half. In our house it’s: “Hey babe, what’s for dinner?”

Tonight when he asked, I smiled and said, “Tax forms. Hope you’re hungry!”

Jim happened to come home while the soup (which was wonderful BTW!) was simmering, and I was at my desk furiously tapping away at some notes on my laptop. In fact, I was in the midst of gathering the information I needed to file my taxes. Yes, I know it’s still January. I still need a couple small forms, otherwise I’ve already got everything organized and itemized, and ready to file. (I use TurboTax and love that it can save your data and let you come back later and fill in anything you’ve missed or skipped.)

Mr. Procrastination always waits until literally the last minute and files the “EZ” form online. Me, I itemize everything. I have folders FULL of receipts, records, and notes. Jim argues that itemizing doesn’t save us that much, and filing the EZ form is “so much easier” … I beg to differ. I’ve recorded every donation we’ve made to every charity in the last year. I also keep meticulous records of my medical records, prescriptions, doctor visits, and other miscellaneous medical expenses that I can claim. While it’s a bit tedious, I found that I got a couple hundred more through itemizing than I would if I had filed the EZ claim.

Of course Jim would much rather spend that time doing “something productive”. I swear, sometimes I think I’d get better responses by talking to the wood flooring instead. LOL!

So, what do you think?

Do you itemize? Why or why not? I’m interested!

Next Page »