Wow, it’s been a month already. I’m … surviving. Mostly. My anxiety bounces up and down, but otherwise I get up every day and login to work. I work a full 9 hours, sometimes a bit more, and log off. I try to eat half-way decently and do something fun every evening. Lately it’s been reading or playing Guild Wars 2. I hop on and off social media depending on my day and/or how I feel. I only leave the house when necessary (because otherwise my doctor would lecture me incessantly). Working remotely has gone better than I thought, and quite honestly I might ask once everyone “goes back to work” if I can work from home a few days a week because it’s been a lot easier on my head and agoraphobia. We use MS Teams, Zoom, and Go to Meeting for everything needing collaboration. Bruce interrupted a call with a vendor last week, not that anyone minded because suddenly everyone wanted to hear all about him. During our departmental meeting last week, Selina stuck her head up behind me and for half a second, you could see her in my virtual background. I don’t think anyone else saw her, but I about fell out of my chair laughing (and thankfully I was muted).
So yeah. Work is OK other than some folks being assholes. I still feel unappreciated, underpaid, and some days a bit overworked. My boss is a nice enough guy, but there’s still a lot of things going on that need to be changed. But I’ll rant about that later. What else? Oh yeah, I got a new roof this week, so I’m happy about that! I bought myself some wireless earbuds for my birthday. I was able to get out for a little bit on my birthday and see a friend, then swung by and saw my folks. I’m still disappointed that I couldn’t go out and celebrate like I had wanted (considering last year’s birthday was very depressing/lonely). But it’s better than I was expecting, so that was a plus!
I haven’t been sleeping all that well. I’ve been plagued with nightmares as of late … more so than usual. It could be what I’m watching as I fall asleep, or my anxiety messing with me. I’m leaning towards the latter. I haven’t been able to go to see my shrink in a while. I’ve talked to my therapist a few times, but honestly I hadn’t felt like talking lately. (which reminds me that I really do need to at least drop her a note and let her know this) I mean, she knows I clam up when I’m dealing with stuff, but that’s what we’ve been trying to correct … my “going quiet.”
Meh … so I was tagged this morning on Tumblr for one of these quiz things and thought “Sure, why not?” … though I’ll post here first, which will then re-post to Tumblr automatically. Heh :)
So here goes nothing:
70 Horrible Questions
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
With my mother, I think so yes. Dad on the other hand … if we even speak, we are polite, that’s about it.
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?
Mrs Mac, an old friend of the family.
03: Do you regret anything?
Honestly, who doesn’t? But I’m trying to let go of those.
04: Are you insecure?
05: What is your relationship status?
Single, and totally OK with that. I’d like to meet someone, but I don’t “need” to …
06: How do you want to die?
Peacefully, after living a full life, surrounded by loved ones.
07: What did you last eat?
A banana sandwich.
08: Played any sports?
High school: Softball, Basketball
College: Flag football
09: Do you bite your nails?
Not really, but I will chew on one once in a while while I’m thinking.
10: When was your last physical fight?
With my kid, about 8 years ago. Not my finest moment, but I will not stand still and let someone beat on me anymore.
11: Do you like someone?
Unconditionally, yes. I like lots of folks, but if you mean romantically … that’s classified.
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
Yes, when my kid tried to commit suicide.
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?
No. I don’t have that kind of energy to waste on someone.
14: Do you miss someone?
Unfortunately, yes. Lots of folks who’ve passed on. :(
15: Have any pets?
I am currently sharing my domicile with two cats: Bruce and Selina.
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?
17: Ever made out in the bathroom?
Yep. Who hasn’t?
18: Are you scared of spiders?
Some of them, yes.
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Tempting, but no. Changing anything in my past would possibly alter my future. Who knows where or WHO I’d be without everything I have experienced?
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?
Chili’s parking lot in Trussville.
21: What are your plans for this weekend?
To do as little as possible.
22: Do you want to have kids? How many?
23: Do you have piercings? How many?
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
Pretty much anything but History or PE. (because both were usually taught by male coaches)
25: Do you miss anyone from your past?
Isn’t this the same as number 14?
26: What are you craving right now?
Nothing, I just ate.
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Yes, and not proud of it. We were not right for each other at that time.
28: Have you ever been cheated on?
Yes, more times than I’d like.
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
My own or someone else’s? (yes to both)
30: What’s irritating you right now?
The length of this quiz.
31: Does somebody love you?
I sure fucking hope so!
32: What is your favourite color?
33: Do you have trust issues?
Do I ever!
34: Who/what was your last dream about?
I don’t remember, but I suspect it had to do with my ex.
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?
My best friend.
36: Do you give out second chances too easily?
Some people think so.
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?
38: Is this year the best year of your life?
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL, yeah NO.
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
Yes, but thankfully it was dark.
51: Favourite food?
I love lots of different foods. :)
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
54: Is cheating ever okay?
55: Are you mean?
I’m sure someone thinks I am.
56: How many people have you fist fought?
More than I would have liked.
57: Do you believe in true love?
58: Favourite weather?
Depends on my mood.
59: Do you like the snow?
OH HELL NO … I hate the cold!
60: Do you wanna get married?
I would like to get married again some day, yes.
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Only if we’re already a couple. Otherwise, save it because you’ll just annoy me.
62: What makes you happy?
63: Would you change your name?
I’ve thought about it, but it would hurt my mother’s feelings.
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
Heh, no … but I won’t because it’s not a good idea.
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Depends on whether I feel the same way, or am open to exploring a relationship with him.
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
One of the guys I game with in GW2.
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
69: Do you believe in soulmates?
I’d like to.
70: Is there anyone you would die for?
My loved ones.