I am a: Quirky sysadmin. Geek. Gamer. Comic fangirl. My little space, my home on the interwebs. I blog about personal stuffs, work, various coding projects, and anything else I feel like.

Once upon a time I fell in love with a man who said he was divorced. Turns out he wasn’t divorced, just separated. We talked about the future. My dumb ass waited on him, and then married him. Then we divorced. It nearly destroyed me completely. I swore never again.

Then I met another man. He said he was divorced. Turns out he wasn’t divorced either, also just separated. We fell in love, talked about the future. He went back to his wife. I was broken up, sure, but mostly angry for first being deceived then cast aside.

And now it’s happened again, I’ve fallen for a man who is … separated from his wife. He’s still married. At this point it shouldn’t matter how either of us feel. It’s a pattern that I have to stop. What is it about me that attracts me to emotionally unavailable men?

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

(this next therapy session is gonna be a doozy)

They say the heart wants what it wants. Well, mine is stupid as hell …