Lately I’ve been distracted from my distractions. Work is busy, as always. IT is moving into a new area at work due to complaints from neighboring departments because … well, we cut up and talk to each other. We’re a team, teams do this. Apparently that’s a foreign concept to some people. Worse is that I’ve been less than pleasant to a few folks, which hasn’t helped, so I’m welcoming the move.
My depression is getting worse.
I haven’t felt well lately and have spent most of my time watching anime and catching up on my TV shows, and sleeping. Actually, I’m sleeping a lot … and yet not sleeping. I can’t stay asleep for more than a couple hours, then I’m up for the rest of the night, so I’m a zombie the next day. I’ve been down, so all I feel like doing is sleeping. I’ve even stopped playing video games. The Revelation beta is going on all last week and this week, I’ve played maybe 3 days total. I’ve had neither the energy nor the desire to do much of anything that I would normally love to be doing.
I was put on another hormone until my surgery in a couple weeks. It could be part of the reason for all of this, but I doubt it. I wasn’t doing well before I went on it. I’m hoping part of it is my being sick and in pain for the last few months. I’m cold all of the time and I’m eating just for the sake of comfort (and hating myself because I’m overeating again). I keep telling myself that everything will be better after the surgery.
I guess we’ll see …
I’ve stopped reading and watching the news. We humans have the capacity to do so much good in this world, but we are also capable of being horrible little shits, and that’s all I’m seeing lately. It’s breaking my heart. So I’m watching a handful of current shows, and re-watching some that I love. I’ve been avoiding Twitter and mostly avoiding Facebook for obvious reasons. I follow so many animal blogs and webcomics on Tumblr, so it’s a welcomed respite most days. It never ceases to amaze me how horrible we can be to each other.
Maybe it’s a good thing that I’m still amazed and horrified. Lord help me if I ever become numb to it.