Today’s funnies start with this one courtesy of Don:
Female v. Male Reasoning
Woman: Do you drink beer?
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about 3.
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00, which includes a tip.
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose.
Woman: So a beer costs $5, and you have 3 beers a day, which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400. Correct?
Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000. Correct?
Woman: Do you know that, if you didnâ€™t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account, and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?
Man: Whereâ€™s your Ferrari?
This next bit is courtesy of Cookie:
The wife and I decided we needed to git in to town for some viddles, so after the drive out of the holler, we stopped by to see the daughter for a spell.
After we finished up supper I asked out loud, “Do ya got a newspaper?” The daughterâ€™s new boy-friend smugly replied, “This is the 21st century, old man, we’ve gone green and we don’t believe wasting money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPad.”
I tell you what, that dang fly never knew what hit it.
And last but certainly not least, another gem from Don: