Today’s funnies start off with this one from my favorite daily reads:
This one is from Don:
Bank robber in Minnesota
A hooded robber burst into a Minnesota bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave Minnesota customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moments hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled, “Well, did anyone else see my face?”
There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly to afraid to speak. Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from Minnesota tentatively raised his hand and said, “My wife got a pretty good look at you.”
This one is from my Cotillion sister, Kat:
A guy walks into a bar, and a robot bartender comes up and asks,”What’ll you have?” The guy says, “Martini.” The robot asks, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “150.” The robot starts talking about physics, philosophy and insider Freddie Mercury jokes.
Intrigued, the guy goes back the next week. The same scenario takes place, but when the robot asks his IQ, the guy says, “100.” The robot launches into discussions about football, NASCAR, and whether Lindsay Lohan’s boobs are real.
The next week the guy goes in, same sequence of events, but this time when the IQ question comes up he says, “50.”
The robot leans in and whispers, “Are you guys sorry you voted for Obama yet?”
And last but not least, one from Cookie: