Today’s funnies start off with this one from one of my co-workers:
Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Tech Support: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote click’.”
And these gems are courtesy of Not Always Right:
Customer: “My cable box is broken.”
Tech Support: “What seems to be the issue?”
Customer: “Roughly every 1 minute the channel goes up. I tried turning it off and on, I tried unplugging it, I made sure no one was sitting on the remote, nothing works, you guys gave me a broken box!”
Tech Support: “What does it currently show on the front of the box sir?”
Customer: “Channel 932.”
Tech Support: “And what time is it sir?”
Customer: “9:32. Oh.” *hangs up*
A middle aged man and his wife go into a department store to purchase a TV.
Salesman: “So it’s between the 32 and the 36 inch TV, right?”
Husband: “Yes, but I don’t understand the difference between them.”
Salesman: “Well, they have the same specs all the way down the line. One is just bigger.”
Husband: “Who in the hell would pay almost $350 more for four more inches?”
Wife: “I would!”
A man calls the local cable company.
Customer Service: “Thank you for calling [cable company]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “We just moved my grandmother’s TV and I think the cable has been disconnected at the outlet where we moved it. Could you send someone to reconnect it?”
Suddenly, the grandmother grabs the phone.
Caller’s grandmother: *yelling* “That is not what happened! The cable has been hooked to that outlet since the 70’s! You people just need to flip the little switch and turn it back on!”
The grandson gets back on the phone.
Caller: “I am so sorry. Please ignore her. I just need to set up an appointment for the technician to come out.”
Customer Service: “No problem. My grandmother can be like that too. I can have someone out on Tuesday.”
Caller’s grandmother: *yelling in the background* “You are not listening! All they have to do is flip the switch! Don’t let them lie to you!”
Caller: “Grams, when you moved the TV back in the ’80’s you had the cable disconnected from this outlet and reconnected at the other end.”
Caller’s grandmother: “Now you’re lying! I’m going to make sure that I’m not here when they come out. This is ridiculous! Tell them not to come!”
Customer Service: “Tell her that our switch is broken here and we have to manually come out and flip it in her home. We’ll be there Tuesday.”
The grandson relays this information.
Caller’s grandmother: “Oh, okay then. I’ll see them Tuesday.”