This one comes courtesy of the lovely Miranda:
One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.” The Marine replied, “Sir, Mr. Obama is not President and doesn’t reside here”. The old man said, “Okay”, and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama”. The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is not President and doesn’t reside here”.
The man thanked him and again walked away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama”. The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I’ve told you already several times that Mr. Obama is not the President and doesn’t reside here. Don’t you understand?”
The old man answered, “Oh, I understand you fine, I just love hearing your answer!”
The Marine then snapped to attention, saluted and said, “See you tomorrow, Sir.”
And this one from my NP guildmate, Rose:
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine… and those who don’t.
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.
In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) – the bacteria found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine and beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.
Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I’m doing it as a public service. :)