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Humpday Hilarities

Howdy funny fans! Today’s edition starts off with this one from I Has a Hotdog:

This next one comes from Adam on Facebook:

This next one is from Cookie:

Why Many Athletes Can’t Have Regular Jobs:

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: “I wan’ all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan’ all the kids to copulate me.”

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the ‘Skin’s say: “I’d run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,” Matt Millen of the Raiders said: “To win, I’d run over Joe’s Mom, too.”

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: “He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings..”

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: “I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.” (Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: “You guys line up alphabetically by height..” And, “You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle.”

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: “Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.”

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: “That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.”

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: “He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is.”

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: “My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player: “I asked him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.’”

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F’s and one D: “Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.”

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford: “I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious.”

15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: “Because she’s too damn ugly to kiss good-bye.”

A big Thank You to everyone who sends me funnies. Keep ‘em coming!

Holiday appropriate

It being the first day of December, I thought I’d put on the ole holiday dress-up for this site. Simple, but pretty nifty I still think.

Our Thanksgiving was fantabulous. Jim, Jess, and I loaded up the car and drove down to Jacksonville to surprise his aunt for her 75th birthday and spent Thanksgiving with his family.

IT. WAS. AWESOME!

Seriously, it was nice to finally have a family get-together where I didn’t have to stress over which parent to please, or what topics to avoid, or dreading what awful insult might be uttered from a particular person’s mouth, … We just sat around and chatted about family, food, and football. We ate a TON of food — including fried turkey, my favorite!!!

There were pies of every kind, and cakes, and ice creams of every imaginable flavor. There was baked turkey and stuffing. There was fried turkey. There was supposed to be a smoked turkey too, but it was accidentally burned, LOL! There was a plethora of cream cheese filled veggies, eggs, and other goodies. There were baked beans, and homemade mac ‘n cheese, and potatoes with gravy. (and God, I’m starting to get hungry just thinking of all this food!) We ate until our bellies felt as if they’d explode, then later we’d eat some more. We sat outside (and the weather was soooooooo nice!), watching the kids play football in the front yard and caught up on family that couldn’t make it or that were out of town.

It was great seeing some of Jim’s family that I’ve met over the past few years again, and even more fun meeting those I’d heard about but never met in person. I’m pretty sure my folks would have looked down on many of them, but I don’t care. These were my kind of people: simple, loving, and just plain fun.

There were a ton of kids around Jessie’s age. One particular set of cousins (twins, they were so cute!) latched onto Jessie and looked up to her, so of course she just soaked in the attention and all the funnery. In a way, it made me miss the old holiday family gatherings that my family used to have when I was a kid. Perhaps next year we’ll either do something similar up here, or just go back down there again!

We had originally planned to swing by to see my folks on the way home but that didn’t pan out. Part of me was worried about that, because (understandably) Jim didn’t want to go. Can’t say I blame him. I was dreading the visit for the very same reason: my father.

I am hoping to stop by and see them soon though, or maybe take them out to dinner. Jessie hasn’t seen them in so long, and I am hopeful that we might can just enjoy a nice night out for a change. There’s probably not a snowball’s chance in hell it will be as nice as I’m hoping, but I’m hopeful just the same. Maybe Christmas will be nice … I may be setting myself up for a disappointment, but hope is all I have and I have my claws dug in deep.

Hope y’all had a good one, I know I’m thankful that we did.

Call me ‘Proud Momma’

Wow, tomorrow’s Halloween already. How time has flown! We’ve been uber-busy over the past few months. Jim is doing ok, still looking for work. I’m doing ok at my new job. Things are finally starting to settle down and I think I’m getting the hang of things. I’ve been there nearly 6 months, though I still feel very much like a n00b some days, LOL!

We’re still working on the house here and there as time permits. We’ve started renovating both of the bathrooms and have started painting each room one at a time. Once Jim finds work, we can start the financing stuff again. The builder’s company that currently owns the home we want has been great about extending our contract as long as we need it, so that has definitely been one less thing to worry about!

We’ve all been spending our spare time playing Aion (as I’m sure everyone has gathered by now, LOL!). It’s been a great experience for Jessie so far. It amazes me how quickly she has picked up the MMO lingo and how she interacts with other people online — both in our guild and in pickup groups. Aion has also been excellent motivation when it comes to good behavior at home and diligence in her school work. She’s allowed to play Aion as long as she keeps up her studies and her grades, and so far it’s working great!

She’s doing REALLY well this year in middle school. She loves her teachers, her classes, and having more kids come in from area feeder schools has put a good mix of kids in her classes (rather than the same 20+ for the last 6 years). For the most part, she’s getting along much better with her schoolmates from what we can tell. We know there have been small “picking” events, but nothing near like the bullying she experienced in the elementary school. (although it helps that the two biggest bullies are no longer in the JeffCo school system — one is at an alternative school and the other now being homeschooled and “getting treatment for issues”)

Jessie is a completely different child now, it’s absolutely amazing.

I had been meaning to post about this for a while, but what prompted me was a story posted in The Birmingham News today about Trey Figures, a 12 year old boy in Anniston who committed suicide earlier this week. Reading Trey’s story broke my heart, not only because he is the same age as my child, but also because he was being bullied in a school that was completely unaware of the problem, and wasn’t doing enough to correct it.

I know I posted a little about Jessie’s bullying in the past on here. I can’t tell you how many phone calls Jim and I made to the school office, how many parent/teacher conferences we had, or how many meetings we had with the vice-principal and/or principal. (We even spoke with the parents of one of the kids who bullied her the most and even that proved fruitless.) The fact of the matter was: the school ALWAYS promised to do more, but what little that was done was never enough.

Honestly, Jessie never really started doing better until she was out of that school for good. Like most kids, she’s never the most excited in the mornings about actually going to school and doing classwork and accompanying homework, but she doesn’t beg me NOT to take her anymore. She doesn’t beg to stay out of school or stay home. She comes home in a good mood, instead of crying or sitting sullen in constant hostility to everyone around her. There’s less attitude and general bad behavior at home. You can tell just by being around her that she is a happier child.

Oh, and her grades have finally come back up! Did I tell y’all she made the A-B Honor Roll? She was just a few points shy of having straight A’s!!!!

This child hasn’t done this well since the very beginning of her school years!! The feedback we get from her teachers has been very encouraging and tells us that she is not only doing better at home, but in also at school and in class. She no longer acts up. She’s genuinely interested in her favorite subjects again and now applies herself more. One teacher put on her report card that she’s a “very respectful student.” Another tells us she “puts forth a lot of effort in class.”

Who wouldn’t be proud of that?

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a proud momma, and I’m sure Trey’s momma is no different. This morning I read Trey’s story and thought to myself, “That could very easily be any child — even mine.”

While I am very thankful and know I am truly blessed to see this wonderful transformation in my child, it breaks my heart to see a mother who won’t get the chance to see it in her own. As a personal favor to me, please keep Trey’s loved ones in your prayers.

My own blizzard

Boy, such a flurry of events have been whirling around me and my kin lately!

An American Visit

Friday I chaperoned Jessie’s class field trip to American Village in Montevallo. Even with the bad weather coming through (tornadoes and rain galore, yuck!), we still had a very good time. And I tell ya, I really wish I had visited American Village when I was Jessie’s age … I think I would have looked at history a whole LOT differently!

I’ve suggested to Jim that we head down there one weekend for one of their events or sometime in the summer when the weather is a little more accommodating!

Despite the bad weather and dampened spirits (my Lord, I’ve never seen so many pouty faces in one place! LOL!), I did manage to snap off a few shots:

The Home Front

We had our first interested party view the house last week. Friday night, to be exact. Our realtor called this weekend to let us know that they liked the layout and wanted to come back and see it again. So this weekend we busted some tail and cleaned and painted the entire bottom level. Jessie hasn’t packed a whole lot because she’s with her mother more these days, so we’ll get around to finishing her room last.

I’m trying not to get TOO excited, but I can’t help but want to get my hopes up!

We still haven’t gotten an answer yet on whether or not we got the loan on the new house. More paperwork was needed and faxed off last week. I’m hoping we hear something this week.

OMG … snow? In the South?!

Yes, it snowed here. We received between 3 and 4 inches here. Some parts of Birmingham received up to 7 inches!!!

Jessie was at her mother’s, so I’m sure she had a good ole time in it. I did manage to get a few shots of the pretty white stuff before the other neighborhood kids ran amok and transformed it all to dirty snowballs and lumpy stick-wielding snowmen. :lol:

Pass the Halls!

Either it’s the irritants in the cleaners, the paint fumes, or being out in the rain all day Friday (or a combination of all three), but I have been sick all weekend and feel generally like death warmed over today. I traipsed in to work to discover that my machine was hosed, so I couldn’t have done much of anything productive even if I wanted to.

Everyone kept telling me I should’ve stayed home because I sounded terrible — I think I’ll take their advice and stay in tomorrow. *ugh*

And last but not least …

One of my themes has recently been featured in a WordPress tutorial over on YouTube:

A big thanks to Kristie for letting me know about it, and to ktinboulder for selecting my theme!

Humpday Hilarities 2

I couldn’t resist posting this 2nd bit. This is from one of my WOSIB sisters:

Children’s Science Exam

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts – the brainium, the Borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does “varicose” mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section”
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word “benign” mean?’
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Ah, the mind of a child …

Humpday Hilarities

Today’s funny bits came from my mother and mother-in-law:

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, ‘When I get to Heaven I will ask Jonah’.

The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to Hell?’

The little girl replied, ‘Then you ask him’.

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’

The teacher paused and said, ‘But no one knows what God looks like.’

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, ‘They will in a minute.’

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to ‘honor’ thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, ‘Thou shall not kill.’

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, ‘Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?’

Her mother replied, ‘Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.’

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, ‘Momma, how come ALL of Grandma’s hairs are white?’

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

‘Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, ‘And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.’

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, ‘Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.’

‘Yes,’ the class said.

‘Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?’

A little fellow shouted, ‘Cause your feet ain’t empty.’

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

‘Take only ONE . God is watching.’

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note:

‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples.’

The Children’s Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, ‘The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, ‘Give me a light!’ and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn’t been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn’t have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh’s people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don’t lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor’s stuff.

Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses’ best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn’t sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don’t have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, ‘Close the door! Were you born in a barn?’ It would be nice to say, ‘As a matter of fact, I was.’)

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats.

Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.

But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn’t stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

The things we realize once we’re grown

How many times have I said, “If I only knew then what I know now … ”

Jessie and I had a long talk yesterday afternoon about some of the kids in her class. She’s like any kid and gets the normal bit of teasing from the class clown who likes to poke at anyone and everyone within yelling distance, and outside of the bullying incidents, they’ve been nothing big. However, apparently one of her classmates lately has been picking on her because she spends her time divided between two families: her mother’s and her father’s. She told me that she tried explaining to this kid that she can’t help that she has to live this way, and told me, “She just doesn’t understand what it’s like for me. I’m different because of this, and nobody likes you when you’re different.”

Oh boy, how I can relate!

Luckily my folks divorced when I was very young, so I don’t remember my biological father at all and never had to deal with having to shuffle back and forth between homes. Unfortunately, Jessie doesn’t have that luxury. And while I have no doubt in my mind that she loves us all very dearly, I think she wishes sometimes for a “normal” family setting — e.g., one family, one home.

Of all the things I can help her handle — math homework, studying for tests, learning her way around the kitchen — this is one of those things where I feel powerless to help. I’ve always tried to show Jessie how much I sympathize with her by sharing my own experiences, and I hope that she understands that she’s not alone. It tears me up to think that for even one moment she may feel as worthless as I once did. I can’t feel the pain for her. All I can do is advise her as best I know how, offer lots of hugs and support, encourage her to share her experiences with me and her mother and father, and hope that she’ll see that one day that she CAN get past this and move on to better things.

And maybe, just maybe, those who have done wrong to her will look back and realize the harm that causes.

I’ve spent a little time the past few days catching up on my feeds, and PostSecret had an entry that really hit home when I was reading over it just now …

I think I’ll print that out and save for Jessie to see when she gets back to our house tomorrow.

Humpday Hilarities

Note: There will likely be no Humpday Hilarities next week as I’ll be on vacation!

This funny bit is courtesy of my mother:

The Truth

He’d been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked, “Grandma, what’s that thing called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?”

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth. “It’s called ‘sexual intercourse’, darling”.

Little Tony just said, “Oh, OK,” and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, “Grandma, it isn’t called ‘sexual intercourse.’ It’s called ‘bunk beds’, and Jimmy’s mom wants to talk to you!”

This one came from my mother-in-law:

Lost Churches of Louisiana

One of the local television stations in South Louisiana aired an interview with a woman from New Orleans . The interviewer was a woman from a Boston affiliate. She asked the New Orleans woman how such total and complete devastation of the churches in the area had affected their lives.

Without hesitation, the woman replied, “I don’t know about all those other people, but we haven’t gone to Churches in years. We gits all our chicken from Popeye’s.”

The look on the interviewer’s face was priceless.

Meme Time!

Teresa sent me this and I thought I’d post here for any of y’all that want to follow along …

Feel free to post your results in the comments!

Because I’m not her mother

I’ve touched on this subject several times, but never really took the time to go in-depth. It started when Jim and I first started dating and became serious — he introduced me to Jessie. I instantly fell in love with this child (who had just turned 5 at the time) and to this day love her as if she were my very own.

From the beginning Jessie’s mother was averse to the idea of another “mother figure” being in her life and strongly objected to Jessie viewing me as an authority figure. At one point, Jessie called me “Momma”, but her mother pitched fits and would berate Jessie until she stopped. Growing up in a tumultuous household, I understand and can relate — but it does not ease my pain.

I have always tried to remain civil or friendly to Jessie’s mother for Jessie’s sake, and try very hard not to say anything negative against her when she’s around. However, that woman has no idea of the contempt and resentment I hold for her for those actions. To this day, it still brings tears to my eyes and is a very sore subject with me. Her mother saw fit to encourage Jessie to question my authority and if I exerted any, Jessie would quickly counter with “You’re not my mother!”

I never blamed Jessie — she’s a child and had no idea how much that hurt. But her mother is a grown woman and knows better.

Granted, things are getting better with Jessie, as far as my role as an authority figure goes; however, I have found now that there are bigger more serious roadblocks than her mother. It seems to me like little insignificant things — the kind of things that you wouldn’t think would prove difficult for a stepparent (or at least I didn’t until now). For instance, Jessie is on my insurance. I handle all of the paperwork and finances for our family — yet, I cannot even sign a form to check her out of school, approve field trips, find out how many days she’s missed, or even to send medicine when she’s got a cold. (and not sick enough to be out of school)

For example, I had to check Jessie out of school for an orthodontist appointment a few weeks back. Usually I make the appointments for in the morning, but she had a test that day and I had it changed to afternoon so she could be at school most of the day. I went to the school office and told them who I was and why I was there. I was told that because I am not her biological parent or a legal guardian, that I would have to wait while they call my husband to get an OK for her to check out. Never mind that I am the first on the emergency contact list, and that every time she’s gotten sick at school, she has specifically requested they call ME. Never mind that *I* am the one who handles everything in the event of emergencies. I asked one of the office staff why wouldn’t I be able to do anything because I’m her stepmother and was told that it was Jefferson County rules. This turned out to be false, as Jim called the county office. However, it seems we’ll need to meet with the principal to discuss this, as it’s actually HER rule.

No biggie in the grand scheme of things, rules are rules, and the school principal is a very nice woman who has worked with us on various issues before.

But it’s not just the school thing that bothers me. I have been trying for months to get Jessie’s mother to cancel her old insurance because Jessie is now covered on mine. I nagged this woman for the last 6 months straight and she STILL won’t do it! Today I took it upon myself to call the state office — it’s state-sponsored insurance (or “free” insurance, as her mother calls it) — and was told that because I was not her biological parent, they could not speak to me.

I can understand that … I have worked in the health care industry for over 10 years and understand all too well about HIPAA rules and PHI. However, I offered to have my insurance company’s office fax over her current coverage as proof that she’s covered, and that the old coverage could be canceled — which as I understand it, would have to happen, as kids on this insurance cannot be covered by anyone else, or it nullifies the coverage. The CSR refused my offer and I was told flat out that Jessie’s mother would have to contact them — I know that THAT will not happen because the woman is lazy and irresponsible!

So here I am typing up a cancellation request for Jessie’s mother. I’ll leave it for her to sign and I’ll pick it up later this week and fax it in to the insurance office. I figure if I do most of the work FOR HER, then she might help me out a little … but I digress …

I know it differs from state to state, but I have been wondering for a while what my rights ARE as a stepparent. I ran across this article in Time magazine, and though it’s a couple years old, reading it did not give me any new information that I hadn’t come across on my own. Something tells me that I’ll probably have to consult a lawyer to find out exactly what rights I *DO* have (if any!?).

Her mother insisted on splitting legal custody with Jim, but refuses to take any responsibility (financial or otherwise) when it comes to Jessie’s welfare. The fact of the matter is, she lives with us the majority of the time. She’s on my insurance. We buy the majority of her clothing and other needs. We pay all of her school-related costs and fees. We paid for her glasses and will be paying for her braces (the insurance covers only a small percentage of these and even though her mother offered at one time to help out with these costs, she now refuses).

The thought that really scares me is: if something were to ever happen to Jessie, and if Jim and her mother could not be reached, I cannot authorize any medical assistance.

Seriously … how screwed up is that?

I understand why it is the way it is … but it still breaks my heart. Jessie has a mother who has all the parental rights, but refuses to take responsibility — and here I am trying desperately to take responsibility, and I have no parental rights.

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