Something I’ve figured out that I need to do more of lately is guarding myself — particularly emotionally. Most days I do ok, but the ones where I don’t is, I think, because I leave myself open. Vulnerable.
I went by Jim’s place Friday to pick up Jessie. She invited me in to wait while she gathered her things. I thought to myself “Bad idea.” but I went in anyways. I really should listen to my gut more. As I looked around his place, there was absolutely no evidence of “us” â€¦ or that there even ever was.
I saw things which were supposedly bought for or given to me that he took with him when he moved out. Worst of all, his wedding ring sitting out. I knew he hadn’t been wearing for a while, but he had told me that he carried it with him everyday when he wasn’t wearing it.
That really bothered me. I don’t like being lied to. And it was just another painful reminder that he didn’t consider me his, and that he wasn’t mine anymore.
This summer was 10 years that we’d been together. This October would have been our 5th wedding anniversary.
I can’t make myself hate him, but I often wish I could.
10 years down the drain — for what?
So, yeah, I need to be a lot more careful with my heartâ€¦
E L Frederick
Wish I had something intelligent to say that would help the pain go away. It does get better with time.
As a poster stated, I wish I could say something to help with the pain.
The 10 years is not (in my opinion) ‘down the drain’. That span of your life simply ended and a new one began. It wasn’t a waste or lost. I’m sure there were a lot of good times (as well as some bad) that you can remember. If not, you probably wouldn’t have made it the 10 years. You have the memories and experiences which are a part of you now. Just remember the good as much as you can. Perhaps staying together would have made you both so miserable that it might have obliterated all the good (great) times you have had together. I don’t know. Conjecture.
The Ring. Telling you he carries it everyday may be true and he missed putting it back in his pocket that day. Or he simply told you that in order to sooth your feelings. In either case, it doesn’t seem to me he intended to hurt you at all. Again, conjecture just from what you’ve posted. I definitely don’t know enough about either of you to make any kind of judgement. Just take this, if you will, as my lame attempt maybe help just a little.
Your days will get easier….. a little at a time.