Some funnies to set the mood for this weekend’s matchup:
A fav of mine from the late great Lewis Grizzard:
“Auburn vs. Alabama, SEC Championship. Fourth Down. One yard to go. 2 seconds left. It was 15-17, ‘Bama leading.
Pat Dye beseeched the Lord. God said, â€˜Pat, go for the touchdown and run right.â€™
Pat Dye gives the instructions to his players; the play executes, ‘Bama stops Auburn’s offense just short of the goal line, ending the game.
Pat Dye was distraught. â€˜Why, Lord?â€™ and God said, â€˜I donâ€™t know â€¦ Bear, why did we tell him that?â€™â€
Q: Why did the Auburn grad get fired from quality control at the M&M factory?
A: He was throwing away too many W’s.”
You’re probably an Auburn fan if …
… You can play the Auburn fight song using your armpit.
… Your wife’s idea of cleaning house is throwing everything out into the yard.
… The Roto-Rooter man stops by your trailer and asks, “What’s that smell?”
… You’re a member of the Skoal Frequent Purchaser Program.
… You looked up your family tree and your uncle spit on you.
… You joined Alcoholics Anonymous so you can drink and use a different name.
… You looked out for #1 and stepped in #2 !!!
… You won’t buy a Japanese car because you’re afraid you won’t understand what they say on the radio.
… Your kids go to a private school and they won’t tell you where it is.
… Your Granny beats you in the tobacky spittin’ contests.
What’s a seven course meal at Auburn?
A possum and a six-pack.
How do you keep an Auburn football player out of your yard?
Put a goal post in it.
Two Auburn golfers hit nice drives down the middle of the fairway. When they arrived at their balls, the first one was getting ready to hit, and the second one said, “Wait, that’s my ball.” The other said “No, it’s mine. I’m playing a Titleist 1”. The first one said “I’m playing a Titleist 1, also”. So they argued for a few minutes, and finally a Bama golfer was walking in the next fairway, and the auburn guys asked him to come over. They explained what had happened and asked him to make the call and that they would go with whatever ruling he made. So, the Bama golfer looks down at the two Titleist 1 golf balls, and then quickly ask, “Which one of you is playing the yellow ball?”
From Elliott in Montgomery:
An Auburn fan asks his wife (an Alabama fan) how to wash his shirt.
“What does it say?” she asks.
“War Eagle” was his reply, so she told him “Hot water, 5 cups of bleach.”