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What we know, and what we don’t

Napoleon Bonaparte once said, “History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.”

Apparently said version tends to change from time to time. I was talking with a friend about how I’d noticed that the school textbooks that Jessie’s had over the past few years were vastly different from those I remembered. In fact, I was helping her study last week for a big social studies exam and thought the textbook seemed a bit “dumbed down” in some topics, and noticed how it entirely skipped others. And then I wondered, were mine vastly different than those of the generation before me?

Looking back, Social Studies was my absolute least favorite subject in school. I couldn’t ever keep up with the details of dates, people, and events; it was sheer straight memorization … and boring as hell. It wasn’t really until I was in my last couple years of high school that history held any kind of fascination with me. I’m lucky, my high school had really great teachers.

I can name several that were my favorites, but one in particular comes to mind today because he not only taught from the textbook, he taught from experience. His name was Joe Parker, and he was a Vietnam veteran. I thought he was the most fascinating man I’d ever met. He didn’t just teach, he told stories. I began to see that people weren’t just names in a textbook anymore. Dates weren’t just numbers to be memorized then completely forgotten. I began to understand why things were done a certain way during certain times.

Mr. Parker often told tales of his time in Vietnam. I loved hearing his stories — I had never seen anything like what he described in any textbook on the subject. Looking back, I don’t think I ever really knew anything about Vietnam. I knew that I had an uncle who had served and died overseas. My father really didn’t like to talk about it. I knew that the war ended not long after I was born, and that when those who served returned home, they were not treated kindly … even looked down upon by people I knew. I never understood until it was explained to me by Mr. Parker. It was he who taught me not to blindly accept what’s given to me in print, but to seek other sources, research, and draw my own conclusions.

I wonder today, how many people are still hanging onto what they’d gathered from misguided sources rather than seeking the truth for themselves?

What brought up this thought and the associated memories was an email I received from Uncle Monster last weekend containing a link to a blog with a most IMPRESSIVE list of statistics and facts about the Vietnam War and its veterans that I have never before seen. And I’d like to share them with y’all …

Interesting Facts about the Make-up of US Troops in the Vietnam War

In case you haven’t been paying attention these past few decades after you returned from Vietnam, the clock has been ticking. The following are some statistics that are at once depressing yet in a larger sense should give you a huge sense of pride.

“Of the 2,709,918 Americans who served in Vietnam, Less than 850,000 are estimated to be alive today, with the youngest American Vietnam veteran’s age approximated to be 54 years old.” How does it feel to be among the last third of all the Vietnam Veterans who served in Vietnam to be alive? I don’t know about you guys, but it kind of gives me the chills.

Considering the kind of information available about the death rate of WWII and Korean War Veterans, publicized information indicates that in the last 14 years Vietnam veterans are dying at the rate of 390 deaths each day. At this rate there will be only a few of us alive in 2015.

These statistics were taken from a variety of sources to include: The VFW Magazine, the Public Information Office, and the HQ CP Forward Observer – 1st Recon April 12, 1997.

STATISTICS FOR INDIVIDUALS IN UNIFORM AND IN COUNTRY VIETNAM VETERANS

1. 9,087,000 military personnel served on active duty during the Vietnam Era (Aug 5, 1964 – May 7, 1975).

2. 8,744,000 GIs were on active duty during the war (Aug 5, 1964 – March 28, 1973).

3. 2,709,918 Americans served in Vietnam, this number represents 9.7% of their generation.

4. 3,403,100 (Including 514,300 offshore) personnel served in the broader Southeast Asia Theater (Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, flight crews based in Thailand and sailors in adjacent South China Sea waters).

5. 2,594,000 personnel served within the borders of South Vietnam (Jan. 1, 1965 – March 28, 1973). Another 50,000 men served in Vietnam between 1960 and 1964.

6. Of the 2.6 million, between 1-1.6 million (40-60%) either fought in combat, provided close support or were at least fairly regularly exposed to enemy attack.

7. 7,484 women (6,250 or 83.5% were nurses) served in Vietnam.

8. Peak troop strength in Vietnam: 543,482 (April 30, 1968).

CASUALTIES

1. The first man to die in Vietnam was James Davis, in 1958. He was with the 509th Radio Research Station. Davis Station in Saigon was named for him.

2. Non-hostile deaths: 10,800

3. Total: 58,202 (Includes men formerly classified as MIA and Mayaguez casualties). Men who have subsequently died of wounds account for the changing total.

4. 8 nurses died – 1 was KIA.

5. 61% of the men killed were 21 or younger.

6. 11,465 of those killed were younger than 20 years old.

7. Of those killed, 17,539 were married.

8. Average age of men killed: 23.1 years

9. Enlisted: 50,274 – 22.37 years

10. Officers: 6,598 – 28.43 years

11. Warrants: 1,276 – 24.73 years

12. E1: 525 – 20.34 years

13. 11B MOS: 18,465 – 22.55 years

14. Five men killed in Vietnam were only 16 years old.

15. The oldest man killed was 62 years old.

16. 2,709,918 Americans served in Vietnam, 58,202 were KIA for a percentage of .0214%.

17. 303,704 were wounded. 153,329 were hospitalized.

18. 150,375 were injured requiring no hospital care.

19. 75,000 were severely disabled. 23,214 were 100% disabled. 5,283 lost limbs. 1,081 sustained multiple amputations.

20. Amputation or crippling wounds to the lower extremities were 300% higher than in WWII and 70% higher than Korea.

21. Multiple amputations occurred at the rate of 18.4% compared to 5.7% in WWII.

22. Missing in Action: 2,338

23. POWs: 766 (114 died in captivity)

24. As of January 15, 2004, there are 1,875 Americans still unaccounted for from the Vietnam War.

DRAFTEES VS VOLUNTEERS

1. 25% (648,500) of total forces in country were draftees.

2. 66% of U.S. armed forces members were drafted during WWII).

3. Draftees accounted for 30.4% (17,725) of combat deaths in Vietnam.

4. Reservists killed: 5,977

5. National Guard: 6,140 served: 101 died.

6. Total draftees (1965 – 73): 1,728,344.

7. Actually served in Vietnam: 38%

8. Marine Corps Draft: 42,633.

9. Last man drafted: June 30, 1973.

RACE AND ETHNIC BACKGROUND

1. 88.4% of the men who actually served in Vietnam were Caucasian; 10.6% (275,000) were black; 1% belonged to other races.

2. 86.3% of the men who died in Vietnam were Caucasian (includes Hispanics); 12.5% (7,241) were black; 1.2% belonged to other races.

3. 170,000 Hispanics served in Vietnam; 3,070 (5.2% of total) died there.

4. 70% of enlisted men killed were of North-west European descent.

5. 86.8% of the men who were killed as a result of hostile action were Caucasian; 12.1% (5,711) were black; 1.1% belonged to other races.

6. 14.6% (1,530) of non-combat deaths were among blacks.

7. 34% of blacks who enlisted volunteered for the combat arms.

8. Overall, blacks suffered 12.5% of the deaths in Vietnam at a time when the percentage of blacks of military age was 13.5% of the total population.

9. Religion of Dead: Protestant – 64.4%; Catholic – 28.9%; other/none – 6.7%

SOCIAL-ECONOMIC STATUS

1. Vietnam veterans have a lower unemployment rate than the same non-vet age groups.

2. Vietnam veterans’ personal income exceeds that of our non-veteran age group by more than 18 percent.

3. 76% of the men sent to Vietnam were from lower middle/working class backgrounds.

4. Three-fourths had family incomes above the poverty level; 50% were from middle income backgrounds.

5. Some 23% of Vietnam vets had fathers with professional, managerial or technical occupations.

6. 79% of the men who served in Vietnam had a high school education or better when they entered the military service. 63% of Korean War vets and only 45% of WWII vets had completed high school upon separation.

7. Deaths by region per 100,000 of population: South – 31%, West -29.9%; Midwest – 28.4%; Northeast – 23.5%.

DRUG USAGE & CRIME

1. There is no difference in drug usage between Vietnam Veterans and non-Vietnam Veterans of the same age group. (Source: Veterans Administration Study)

2. Vietnam Veterans are less likely to be in prison – only one-half of one percent of Vietnam Veterans have been jailed for crimes.

3. 85% of Vietnam Veterans made successful transitions to civilian life.

WINNING & LOSING

1. 82% of veterans who saw heavy combat strongly believe the war was lost because of lack of political will.

2. Nearly 75% of the public agrees it was a failure of political will, not of arms.

HONORABLE SERVICE

1. 97% of Vietnam-era veterans were honorably discharged.

2. 91% of actual Vietnam War veterans and 90% of those who saw heavy combat are proud to have served their country.

3. 74% say they would serve again, even knowing the outcome.

4. 87% of the public now holds Vietnam veterans in high esteem.

INTERESTING

1. 1,713,823 of those who served in Vietnam were still alive as of August, 1995 (census figures).

2. During that same census count, the number of Americans falsely claiming to have served in-country was: 9,492,958.

3. As of the current census taken during August, 2000, the surviving U.S. Vietnam Veteran population estimate is: 1,002,511. This is hard to believe, losing nearly 711,000 between ‘95 and ‘00. That’s 390 per day.

4. During this census count, the number of Americans falsely claiming to have served in-country is: 13,853,027. By this census, FOUR OUT OF FIVE WHO CLAIM TO BE VIETNAM VETS ARE NOT.

5. The Department of Defense Vietnam War Service Index officially provided by The War Library originally reported with errors that 2,709,918 U.S. military personnel as having served in-country.

6. Corrections and confirmations to this erred index resulted in the addition of 358 U.S. military personnel confirmed to have served in Vietnam but not originally listed by the Department of Defense. (All names are currently on file and accessible 24/7/365).

7. Isolated atrocities committed by American Soldiers produced torrents of outrage from anti-war critics and the news media while Communist atrocities were so common that they received hardly any media mention at all.

8. The United States sought to minimize and prevent attacks on civilians while North Vietnam made attacks on civilians a centerpiece of its strategy.

9. Americans who deliberately killed civilians received prison sentences while Communists who did so received commendations.

10. From 1957 to 1973, the National Liberation Front assassinated 36,725 Vietnamese and abducted another 58,499. The death squads focused on leaders at the village level and on anyone who improved the lives of the peasants such as medical personnel, social workers, and school teachers. – Nixon Presidential Papers.

Now, how many of you read the above and see the similarities between Vietnam and Iraq/Afghanistan? The first thing that stuck out in my mind immediately (besides the media coverage) was that I have seen with my own eyes is that heroes are welcomed home today.

Reach out to a soldier or veteran. Say “Thank you” — because you never know, he or she may have never been told that before!

If you are able and want to do more, here’s where you can find out how.

Humpday Hilarities

This morning’s first funny is courtesy of Uncle Monster:

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, “What are all those clocks?”

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”

“Oh”, said the man. “Whose clock is that?”

“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”

“Incredible”, said the man. “And whose clock is that one?”

St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”

“Where’s President Obama’s clock?”, asked the man.

“Obama’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”

I may have posted something similar to this before, but it’s still one of my faves. Courtesy of my mother:

Only Southerners

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a “hissie fit” and a “conniption fit,” and that you don’t “HAVE” them, you “PITCH” them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc…, make up “a mess.”

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of “yonder.”

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long “directly” is, as in: “Going to town, be back directly.”

Even Southern babies know that “Gimme some sugar” is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when “by and by” is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin’!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between “right near” and “a right far piece.” They also know that “just down the road” can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, and po’ white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, … and when we’re “in line,”… we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they’re related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, “y’all” is singular, “all y’all” is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, “Well, I caught myself lookin’,” you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say “sweet tea” and “sweet milk.” Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it — we do not like our tea unsweetened. “Sweet milk” means you don’t want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, “Bless her heart,” and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, … bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin’ to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y’all need a sign to hang on y’all’s front porch that reads “I ain’t from the South, but I got here as fast as I could!”

The emphasis on the tea thing is mine. It never ceases to amaze me how many of my clients don’t understand my passion for good sweet tea.

Moving right along, this funny is courtesy of my pal Don:

Secret Code

After the new president has been in office for 6 months it is customary for the last president to send a note of congratulations to the new one. So when the note came from Bush to Obama, the president was somewhat troubled because it was written in code and all it said was: 370H-SSV-0773H

This troubled him as he had always heard from his peers how former president Bush was perceived to have been scholarly challenged. So he took the note to his wife. She was unable to decipher it.

They called in the VP, and he was unable to decode the message. They called in the chief of staff and the head of the Secret Service detail and they were unable to determine the meaning of the note. Next he called in the head of the Senate and Speaker of the House. They both were mystified by the meaning of the coded message.

Now there was complete panic in the oval office. They called all of their contacts in the media and sent copies of the note to all of them, and not one was able to come up with an answer.

A special emergency meeting was called by the staff.. All branches of the military, counter intelligence, CIA, FBI were called in, and the best minds were unable crack the code. After a sleepless night, a now humbled President Obama picked up the phone and called the former president, and asked him the meaning of the note.

Bush chuckled and replied, “You’re holding the note upside down!”

And last but certainly not least, this funny is courtesy of my Cotillion sister, Kat:

Patriot Microchip

The Patriot Microchip is intended to be implanted in terrorists. The implant is specifically designed to be installed in the forehead. When properly installed it will allow the implantee to speak to God.

It comes in various sizes:

The exact size of the implant will be selected by a well-trained and highly-skilled technician. The implant may or may not be painless …

Side effects, such as headaches and nausea, are temporary. Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site.

Please enjoy the security we provide for you.

Best regards,

The United States Marines

Humpday Hilarities

Today’s funnies are courtesy of Cookie (who incidentally just celebrated his birthday, so be a sport and go wish him a good one! )

The Navy Chief & New Guy

The Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, “Get over here bilge scum!

What’s your name sailor?”

“John,” the new seaman replied.

“Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy ass namby pamby crap they’re teaching sailors in boot camp nowdays, but I don’t call anyone by his first name,” the chief scowled. “It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever. And you are to refer to me as ‘Chief’. Do I make myself clear?”

“Aye, Aye Chief!”

“Now that we’ve got that straight maggot, what’s your last name?”

The seaman sighed. “Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief.”

“Okay, John, here’s what I want you to do …”

The Spoils of War …

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, “I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road..

I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved, and he yelled back that Ted Kennedy is a fat, good-for-nothing, left wing liberal drunk who doesn’t know how to drive. So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian!

He retaliated by yelling, “Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!”

“And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us.”

When the music stopped

My mother-in-law sent me this lovely piece. I get so many military jokes and stories that often Snopes is one of the first places I hit after receiving these types of emails. Don’t get me wrong … it’s not that I don’t believe in tales of valor and honor from our men and women in uniform. On the contrary, I like to post sources to give credit where credit is due. I know that without a doubt, some of the finest men and women you’ll ever see are in the military, and I’m always happy to share stories illustrating this!

Anyways, back to the story. Snopes didn’t have anything on this, so I hit up Google and found another source that confirmed that this story is indeed TRUE!

For those who are unaware, at a military theater, the National Anthem is played before every movie.

From a Chaplain in Iraq:

I recently attended a showing of ‘Superman 3,’ here at LSA Anaconda. We have a large auditorium we use for movies, as well as memorial services and other large gatherings. As is the custom back in the States, we stood and snapped to attention when the National Anthem began before the main feature. All was going as planned until about three-quarters of the way through the National Anthem the music stopped.

Now, what would happen if this occurred with 1,000 18-22 year-olds back in the States? I imagine there would be hoots, catcalls, laughter, a few rude comments; and everyone would sit down and call for a movie. Of course, that is, if they had stood for the National Anthem in the first place. Here, the 1,000 soldiers continued to stand at attention, eyes fixed forward. The music started again. The soldiers continued to quietly stand at attention. And again, at the same point, the music stopped. What would you expect to happen?

Even here I would imagine laughter, as everyone finally sat down and expected the movie to start. But here, you could have heard a pin drop. Every soldier continued to stand at attention. Suddenly there was a lone voice , then a dozen, and quickly the room was filled with the voices of a thousand soldiers, finishing where the recording left off:

‘And the rockets red glare,
The bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night
That our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O’er the land of the free,
And the home of the brave.’

It was the most inspiring moment I have had here in Iraq. I wanted you to know what kind of soldiers are serving you here. Remember them as they fight for you! Pass this along as a reminder to others to be ever in prayer for all our soldiers serving us here at home and abroad. For many have already paid the ultimate price.

Written by Chaplain Jim Higgins
LSA Anaconda is at the Ballad Airport in Iraq, north of Baghdad

According to TruthorFiction.com, this was indeed written by Army Reserve Chaplain Jim Higgins who, when he is not deployed, is Senior Pastor of McEachern Memorial United Methodist Church, in Powder Springs, GA. It goes on to say that this event took place in May of 2007 while he was stationed at Camp Anaconda — which is a US base near Balad, and one of the largest airbases in Iraq.

But I bet many of you already knew that about C.A.

God bless our troops!!

If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password, “Roll, Tide, Roll!”

There are many days where I will spend my lunch time surfing the web … sometimes with purpose, but usually aimlessly. Facebook is pretty good at helping with the latter. I jump from a friend’s link to another, then another, and half an hour later I’m on a “wild tangent surf”. StumbleUpon and Twitter are also good for this.

Today’s lunch surf session landed me on a lens (topic) at Squidoo on Bear Bryant. In case you don’t recognize my post’s title, that’s one of Bear’s quotes — one of my personal faves.

You know, it’s amazing that you can study a person, idolize them growing up, and still really NOT know everything about them. I remember hearing all the Alabama football “glory stories” growing up from both my parents and grandparents. I still remember watching Alabama play on TV. I remember watching The Bear Bryant Show on Sunday afternoons with my grandfather.

“Golden Flake and Coca-Cola … great pair, says ‘The Bear’!”

I remember the day he passed away. I remember watching his funeral on TV. Even at that young age, I knew that Alabama football wouldn’t be the same for a very long time. Hell, we got a pretty good coach right now. A lot of people say ole Nick reminds them of Bear. A lot of people (mostly other teams) tell us that we live in the past. But growing up here, how could you not? Over the years I’ve read and re-read some of my favorite Bear stories. There are tons of pages out there on the internet of quotes and tons of books about the man. Sure there, are tons of webpages and books on lots of worthless people, but their legends do not live on like Bear’s has!

So excuse me for being a living-breathing crimson-blooded outrageously-obnoxious Alabama fan, but Coach William Paul “Bear” Bryant was more than “just a coach” to me. He was more than a great motivator. He was more than a great leader. He was more than a friend, a confidant and a mentor to his players. He was a great man … and he was a veteran.

I didn’t know that last one. Did you?

I happily discovered via Wikipedia that Bear Bryant joined the US Navy following the bombing of Pearl Harbor. He served just off North Africa, but never saw any combat action. But the article does say that his ship, the SS Uruguay, was rammed by another ship and ordered to be abandoned. Bear disobeyed that order, which saved the lives of his men. It goes on to say that while in the Navy, he attained the rank of Lieutenant Commander.

The article goes on to describe the rest of his coaching career, but it surprised me that I hadn’t heard about his service before. I can’t say I’m surprised. Like I’ve always said Bear was a great man, and so many of our greatest can be found in our military. So many great men have served this great country before, and so many great men (and women!) are serving now.

While most will never gain Bear’s level of fame, if at all, they all richly deserve it in my eyes.

God bless your soul, Coach. And God bless our troops, vets, and those who love and support them!

Happy 4th of July weekend

I hope everyone is having a happy and safe holiday weekend. July 4th is without a doubt one of my favorite holidays. It is the birthday of our nation — or, as I see it, the birthday of the greatest nation on earth. To quote President Ronald Reagan:

“There have been revolutions before and since ours, but those revolutions simply exchanged one set of rules for another. Ours was a revolution that changed the very concept of government.

Let the Fourth of July always be a reminder that here in this land, for the first time, it was decided that man is born with certain God-given rights; that government is only a convenience created and managed by the people, with no powers of its own except those voluntarily granted to it by the people.

“We sometimes forget that great truth, and we never should.”

We never should — truer words have never been spoken.

As we all enjoy the festivities, food, and games this weekend, let us all take some time to reflect on the events that precipitated this country’s independence and the freedoms that we enjoy. Let us remember that with freedom comes responsibility — if we don’t like the way things are going in this country, that it is our responsibility to make a change.

Let us also remember those who have given their lives to defend our freedom, and those who are fighting for them still.

A Day of Remembrance

I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday weekend. May we all remember why this day is so important and never forget those who are serving and have served to protect the freedoms that we hold so dear.

Remember folks, freedom is not free.

Humpday Hilarities

I have several today, so let’s get started! This one is from one of my WOSIB sisters:

How to Deal with Party Crashers

It was at a party and the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments.

She was sure that not all of these people had been invited but didn’t know how to tell which ones were the crashers. Then her husband got an idea …

He turned to the crowd of guests and said “Will everyone from the bride’s side of the family stand up please?” About twenty people stood.

Then he asked “Will everyone from the groom’s side of the family stand up as well?” About twenty five people stood up.

Then he smiled and said, “Will everyone who stood please leave. This is a birthday party.”

This one is from my pal Cookie:

Understanding the Stimulus Bill

Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says, “I don’t understand this stimulus bill. Can you explain it to me?”

The professor replied, “I don’t have any time to explain it at my office, but if you come over to my house on Saturday and help me with my weekend project, I’ll be glad to explain it to you.” The student agreed.

At the agreed-upon time, the student showed up at the professor’s house. The professor stated that the weekend project involved his backyard pool.

They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the student a bucket. Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor said, “First, go over to the deep end, and fill your bucket with as much water as you can.” The student did as he was instructed.

The professor then continued, “Follow me over to the shallow end, and then dump all the water from your bucket into it.” The student was naturally confused, but did as he was told.

The professor then explained they were going to do this many more times, and began walking back to the deep end of the pool.

The confused student asked, “Excuse me, but why are we doing this?”

The professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to make the shallow end much deeper.

The student didn’t think the economics professor was serious, but figured that he would find out the real story soon enough.

However, after the 6th trip between the shallow end and the deep end, the student began to become worried that his economics professor had gone mad. The student finally replied, “All we’re doing is wasting valuable time and effort on unproductive pursuits. Even worse, when this process is all over, everything will be at the same level it was before, so all you’ll really have accomplished is the destruction of what could have been truly productive action!”

The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile,

“Congratulations. You now understand the stimulus bill.”

This one is from one of my coworkers:

The Coping Diet

This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds during the day.

Breakfast
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

Lunch
1 small portion, lean, steamed chicken
1 cup spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey’s Kiss

Afternoon Snack
The rest of the Hershey’s Kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips

Dinner
4 glasses of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers bars

Late Night Snack
1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

Remember: ‘Stressed’ spelled backward is ‘desserts!’

And last but not least, another funny from one of my WOSIB sisters:

In addition to communicating with the local Air Traffic Control facility, all aircraft in the Persian Gulf AOR are required to give the Iranian Air Defense Radar (military) a ten minute ‘heads up’ if they will be transiting Iranian airspace. This is a common procedure for commercial aircraft and involves giving them your call sign, transponder code, type aircraft, and points of origin and destination.

I just flew with a guy who overheard this conversation on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai. It is too good not to pass along.

The conversation went like this:

Iranian Air Defense Radar: “Unknown aircraft, you are in Iranian Airspace. Identify yourself.”

Aircraft: “This is a United States Aircraft. I am in Iraqi Airspace.”

Iranian Air Defense Radar: “You are in Iranian Airspace. If you do not depart our airspace, we will launch Interceptor Aircraft!”

Aircraft: “This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 Fighter. Send ‘em up! I’ll wait!”

Iranian Air Defense Radar: (No Response — Total Silence)

A reminder: Why I do it

The following was received from a soldier and was posted to the Soldiers’ Angels Wingtip 2 Wingtip blog:

I would like to take this time to say thank you for all that you have done for me and other Soldiers like me. Thank you for your letters, cards, calling cards, heartfelt prayers and thoughts.

Our force, however strong, needs encouragement, especially when our will is weak. Your kindness has healed our sad souls and our longing for our homes.

With reminders every day that we are not alone …

We have you!

Thank you Soldiers Angels!

It makes my heart smile to see our efforts appreciated by those we love and support. Because of this, I’ll gladly keep doing what I’m doing … as long as it takes.

“May no soldier go unloved,
may no soldier walk alone,
may no soldier be forgotten,
until they all come home.”
– Patti Patton-Bader

Merry Christmas, Happy Solstice and Merry Yule, y’all!

 

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

– Luke 2:8-20 NIV

Christmas comes early for some …

I received an email today from Soldiers’ Angels notifying me that the infantry where two of my soldiers are has a “mailstop.” This means only one thing …

THEY ARE COMING HOME!!!!

I know their families have got to be so excited!

God bless you, Casey and Steven. Wherever you are and wherever you’re headed, I wish you a safe trip.

Thank You!

Whenever I’m out and about and see a soldier or veteran, I always go up to them and thank them for their service and hand them a small Soldiers’ Angels card. Something Jessie said a while back sticks in the back of my mind every time I meet one … she said, “‘Thank you’ doesn’t seem like enough.”

I know what she means. For such a small phrase and gesture, I hope I’m able to make a big impact on that person, or the people around them. And I hope I come across as truly grateful.

To all troops, veterans, and their families: you have my thanks, gratitude, and support. May God bless you, and those who love and support you!

We’re outta here!

Welp, I’m finishing up wrapping tonight and we’ll pack up the car early tomorrow to head out of town for a bit.

My overnight bag’s packed tighter than a Ju Ju Be, LOL!

Hopefully I’ll have some goodies to share when I get back.

I hope everyone has a safe and very Merry Christmas!

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