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Humpday Hilarities

Today’s funnies start off with this one from one of my co-workers:

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer: “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote click’.”

And these gems are courtesy of Not Always Right:

Customer: “My cable box is broken.”
Tech Support: “What seems to be the issue?”
Customer: “Roughly every 1 minute the channel goes up. I tried turning it off and on, I tried unplugging it, I made sure no one was sitting on the remote, nothing works, you guys gave me a broken box!”
Tech Support: “What does it currently show on the front of the box sir?”
Customer: “Channel 932.”
Tech Support: “And what time is it sir?”
Customer: “9:32. Oh.” *hangs up*

A middle aged man and his wife go into a department store to purchase a TV.

Salesman: “So it’s between the 32 and the 36 inch TV, right?”
Husband: “Yes, but I don’t understand the difference between them.”
Salesman: “Well, they have the same specs all the way down the line. One is just bigger.”
Husband: “Who in the hell would pay almost $350 more for four more inches?”
Wife: “I would!”

A man calls the local cable company.

Customer Service: “Thank you for calling [cable company]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “We just moved my grandmother’s TV and I think the cable has been disconnected at the outlet where we moved it. Could you send someone to reconnect it?”

Suddenly, the grandmother grabs the phone.

Caller’s grandmother: *yelling* “That is not what happened! The cable has been hooked to that outlet since the 70′s! You people just need to flip the little switch and turn it back on!”

The grandson gets back on the phone.

Caller: “I am so sorry. Please ignore her. I just need to set up an appointment for the technician to come out.”
Customer Service: “No problem. My grandmother can be like that too. I can have someone out on Tuesday.”
Caller’s grandmother: *yelling in the background* “You are not listening! All they have to do is flip the switch! Don’t let them lie to you!”
Caller: “Grams, when you moved the TV back in the ’80′s you had the cable disconnected from this outlet and reconnected at the other end.”
Caller’s grandmother: “Now you’re lying! I’m going to make sure that I’m not here when they come out. This is ridiculous! Tell them not to come!”
Customer Service: “Tell her that our switch is broken here and we have to manually come out and flip it in her home. We’ll be there Tuesday.”

The grandson relays this information.

Caller’s grandmother: “Oh, okay then. I’ll see them Tuesday.”

Humpday’s Lagniappe

Posted by Chrispian on Facebook, I couldn’t resist sharing this:

If you’re a programmer, you’ll get this right off. If you’re sane, it’ll take a minute.

Wife asks her husband, a programmer, to go shopping:

Her: Dear, please, go to the grocery store to buy some bread. Also, if they have eggs, buy 6.
Him: Okay, hun.

20 minutes later he comes back with 6 loaves of bread. His wife is flabbergasted!

Her: Dear, why on earth did you buy 6 loaves of bread?
Him: They had eggs.

I’m on a treadmill

Ever feel like you’re doing lots of running, but going nowhere? Yeah that’s been me lately!

I know things have been a little too quiet on here over the past few months. Rest assured, overall things are better … not outstanding, but better than they were. Things between me and Jim are a lot better. We’re not “fixed” by any means, but we’re talking a lot more, fighting less, and things have moved forward in a positive light. In fact, we’re actually working on the house again and hope to have it back on the market pretty soon.

We’ve order new furniture — I’m REALLY excited about that! We’re getting a new couch and a “lift top” coffee table. It’s basically a normal-looking table where the top lifts up, to like a dining or normal utility table. My mother-in-law has one and I have always LOVED hers. I had no idea that these things are available pretty much anywhere, you just needed to ask for it by that name. So I’m stoked!

Geekery

With our tax return money, Jim’s upgraded his PC with a smokin’ hawt processor and two new graphics cards. Me, I got a new laptop — an Asus G72Gx-X1. It’s an Intel quad-core with 6Gb of RAM on Windows 7 64-bit. It has a nice 17″ screen and 640Gb of storage space (more than enough to store my old data and anything new I need). I still need to replace my old backup drive that ate itself (lucky me, my husband recovered everything!), but am so far really pleased with my setup. It’s very shiny and HAWT!

hehehe, I can’t wait to show it off at the next LAN party!

I’ve been really happy with Asus’ laptops over the years. My old one is going to Jessie, so of course she’s excited. This also helps as a motivational tool with her grades. So far, she has done REALLY well this year and has stayed on the Honor Roll. We talked to her before letting her know that my old laptop would be hers, and expressed quite plainly that if her grades fell, this would be one of the first privileges taken away. It’s tons faster/newer than her old tower PC (my old green monster, sniff!) and would handle Aion so much better, so she’s really stoked about that!

Jess and I spend a lot of time in Aion nowadays. Jim reached level 50 on his main and “took a break” — meaning he got bored with it and will probably come back when the 1.9-2.0 patches come out. Me, I’m still loving every minute of it. Jess too — she’s already maxed out on alts, LOL! I joined a really great guild named Rogue. They are pretty active and laid back and even have both Asmodian and Elyos members, so it’s pretty cool to chat on their forums and vent with players from both factions.

Work stuff

Things at work have gotten busier. Hehe, I didn’t think that was possible. I’ve gained new responsibilities, which is a good thing, but I’m tons busier now than I was so that means pretty much no free time at work. Oh well, the pay is nice and I really like my work environment. My co-workers are good people and am learning tons, so that all makes it worth it in the grand scheme of things.

There are times that I miss UAB … but hearing from friends about how things are now, I’m glad (overall) that I’m no longer in that mess.

Jim’s still looking. The IT market here is still a huge sucking black hole, but I’m seeing more jobs in the paper now than there were 6-9 months ago, so I’m taking that as a good sign. Of course Jim’s over-qualified for 99% of them and so I think that’s why he doesn’t get any call-backs.

I think sometimes he resents me because I’m working and he’s not. Had I known then what I know now, I would have insisted HE interview for my job and me stay at home. Oh well, him being at home has been a real blessing. Jessie loves spending more time with him — and it means that on days where we have her, she doesn’t have to deal with her mother at all.

She and her mother aren’t getting along any better. I think she “endures” her mother as best she can (and can relate), so we try not to be too hard on her when she and her mom have spats. Her mother isn’t the easiest woman to get along with and considering her mother’s mental state and past history, Jessie does a damned fine job if you ask me. I see a lot of my father in her mother, and pray like Hell that she grows up to be better than me, than how I turned out.

I think she will be. Jessie’s very strong-willed and she amazes me every day with how smart and perceptive she is. She’s getting tall too. I can’t believe she’ll be 13 soon. Seems like only yesterday she was 4 years old and running around my house casting Harry Potter spells.

She was SO CUTE!

She’s already wearing makeup and having her monthly visitor. She’s more into boys and video games than cartoons and karate now. And like I mentioned before, she’s doing very well in school. She has new friends that she texts almost every day. She’s blossoming into a wholly new little person and I feel blessed to be able to just be part of her life and to see it happening.

I tell her all the time that she and Jim were the best thing to ever happen to me. I don’t think she believes me, hehe.

More family stuff

Things between me and my father have digressed pretty much back to not-speaking. My mother and I are getting along better, as long as we avoid certain topics … like my husband, and him not working. If I bring Jim up in conversation, she changes the subject.

Ah, just like old times …

I don’t think I really talked about Thanksgiving and Christmas on here. Things were bad enough because of the problems Jim and I are having … and I think they were made worse with our visits to my family. Both Thanksgiving and Christmas my father ignored us. I mean sitting down in another room, pretending to be oblivious to anyone or anything around him, not speaking to any of us when we spoke to him, ignoring us. Both holidays, we went over there and that’s what he did — he went into the TV room, sat in “his” chair and said nothing to any of us. What pissed me off was that when my brother and his family came over, he would get up, be lively and interact with them, and as soon as they left, he went back to his chair in that room.

I was humiliated, and furious. And quite honestly am thinking of not seeing my parents any more during the holidays. I know that doing this will hurt my mother, and will probably damage our relationship further; but I cannot and will not continue to be ignored, looked down upon, or have my family be treated like we’re a bunch of second-rate citizens. Honestly, just thinking about it right now is raising my blood pressure and making me very angry.

Maybe I still have unresolved issues. Maybe my father is just an asshole. Either way, I’ve decided not to put my husband and daughter, whom I love more than life itself, through that any more.

So, how are you doing?

A few of you I’ve heard from off the blog. I really miss interacting with everyone and would love to hear how y’all are doing. Please feel free to comment below, or just holler at me via email!

Humpday Hilarities

I had a particularly hard day at work yesterday and totally wasn’t feeling the funny vibe. This video is something that my adorable husband posted to lift my spirits. It worked, and is my funnies entry for this week. Anyone who’s ever done tech support or even customer support I’m sure could relate to this.

Note: may be a bit NSFW (hand gestures and a couple words) so you may want to keep the volume down.

Aionfox issues with Firefox 3.6

This post is long overdue, I know. :p

Shortly after updating and resubmitting my Aionfox addon to the AMO sandbox, I realized that changes in the way Firefox 3.6 handles addons prevented it from functioning properly. (or at all). I’m in the process of researching this but free time has been scarce lately — things at work are uber-busy right now. Rest assured, I’m aware of the issue and plan to fix it.

For the time being, Aionfox version 1.0 works just fine in Firefox 3.5. If you had it installed previously before upgrading to Firefox 3.6 you can enable it via the Nightly Tester Tools. As it stands, version 1.1 does not work in Firefox 3.6. Considering it’s going to have to be pretty much re-written from scratch I’m most likely going to pull it from the development queue and take another look at the localization while I’m re-coding.

Note: I’ll be needing beta testers and will announce via Twitter and Facebook when the next version is ready for testing!

Grouping Manners or Common Sense? (Aion)

The concept of MMOs is one with which I’ve been familiar for quite some time. I’ve tried a few over the years but never had one win me over like Aion has. That said, I will admit that even though I’ve learned quite a bit about the MMO culture over the years, I was quite unaware of many nuances that you don’t really pick up on unless you really sit down and PLAY. For instance, grouping and manners — or a general lack thereof by many players I’ve encountered. Granted, most of those I grouped with in the closed beta events were better mannered than some I’ve run across since Aion’s release, I think overall it’s because no one really says anything to those who cross these unwritten/unspoken boundaries.

To me, most of these seem pretty common sense and are of course my own opinion, but I am always open to hear the views of other players!

Leaders: Lay down the ground rules before you begin

I’d have to say without a doubt that one of the best groups I’ve been in is one where the group leader laid down the ground rules before beginning the instance. He made clear what the group’s goals were, asked where everyone was on which quests (or who needed what, etc.), and stated what the loot distribution method would be.

You would think everyone would be that clear, but I think many group leaders just “wing it” or make it up as they go, and/or assume that everyone is on the same page. This is not always the case and a good leader should be clear, IMO.

Players: Don’t roll on it if you can’t use it

This isn’t practiced by everyone, but personally I consider it bad manners to roll on an item that you can’t use. If there is someone in your group that can use it, hit Pass. He/She should be the one to roll on it.

That said, if no one in the group can use the item, then I say “greed it” — let the whole group roll because whoever gets it is going to sell it. I’m not opposed to making a profit in-game, but courtesy should come first.

Leaders: Mark your targets

It should go without saying that this should apply where necessary. It should also go without saying that as a leader of a group, you should be clear on the attack strategy and make your plans known, but this isn’t always the case. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve grouped with people for an instance and be yelled at for hitting the wrong mob.

Leaders, if you plan on implementing some means of CC, make sure everyone knows which targets to hit, which to root or sleep (CC), and if needed, the priority of targets.

I’m a Ranger. I have limited CC. Well, actually, I have only one: the Sleep Arrow. Some mobs resist it, but when it works it’s great. The drawback is that it has a cooldown time of 3 minutes. A good leader should take this into account and plan attacks accordingly, whether by waiting until I can CC again, or if another player is able to do so, have them take the next one.

Players: You, too, can res

Most groups, if not all, have a healer. Healers are good, mmmkay? Healers can save your skin if you are caught off-guard by a nasty mob, they can heal you or even res you if said mob BAFs and snuffs you out. I love healers. Buffs and heals rule.

But what if your healer gets zapped?

Here is where I think other classes should take a little extra effort to help them out: stock up on res stones. You can get them from any General Goods Merchant (after you’ve ascended of course). I never go anywhere without them. Granted, you can’t res yourself with one, but if your healer gets wiped out, you can come to his/her rescue with one of those handy things. Plus, if your healer is busy attending to another matter (say, healing your tank who’s keeping the boss turned around away from the rest of the group so everyone isn’t wiped out!), you can lend a hand if another group member has fallen and needs to be brought back to the land of the living.

Leaders: Take frequent mana breaks

This is a personal pet-peeve of mine. Granted, I am not a healer, so I am not as dependent as they are, but many of my self-buffs and “special” skills take a lot of MP. When I run out, I’m reduced to very few attack options.

Leaders, please, keep an eye on your group members’ levels and take breaks where/when convenient. Your heals/DPS people will thank you for it.

You: Have other ideas?

Leave a note in the comments form below and let me know what you think!

This so reminds me of Hobie

I can remember playing Descent and Doom years ago and she would lay on top of my monitor trying to “catch” things on the screen.

Soaked and sunburned, and zombies, and Aion

Wow, what a weekend. Right now I’m sitting here waiting out the remaining two hours until the Aion Head Start event. I figured this would be a good time as any to post a few things.

Jess, Teresa and I spent yesterday in T’town. We went down there to watch the Tide take on North Texas. Jim was originally supposed to go with us, but he was kind enough to stay home to get our house ready to show to some prospective buyers. (Which, funny enough, he neglected to tell me about until Friday night when I got home and was already mad as a hornet for having spent 2 hours in traffic!)

We picked Teresa up in McCalla and headed down I-59. It rained the entire time. Once we reached Tuscaloosa, finding a parking spot was pretty tricky. The university has taken over some parking lots that were once public to reserve for Tide Pride members. We got lucky and parked by some friends in nearby apartments.

Hooray for friends!

It rained and rained and RAINED. Even though all three of us were wearing ponchos, we were still soaked to the bone. We walked all over the quad, visited various shop tents and after watching the Million Dollar Band do their usual pre-game routine, slowly made our way to Bryant-Denny stadium. It was at this point that it FINALLY quit raining. With the exception of a few drops here or there, the weather was pretty nice for the rest of the day! We made our way into the stadium and up to our seats and tried our best to dry out. About halfway into the game, the sun made its grand entrance.

Of course, the sunscreen I had put on yesterday morning before leaving the house had washed off … so I’m a little sunburned. This is the first game I’ve ever attended where I’ve been soaked and sunburned in the same day! LOL!

It was all a great day of fun though. The Tide looked really good. The halftime show was great. The MDB played a tribute to Motown. IMO the best part was the finale … they played ‘Thriller’ by Michael Jackson. All of the color guard and dance teams put on some raggedy clothes and danced as zombies like in the original video. It was awesome!!

The Tide won 53-7, so pretty early in the second half a lot of people were leaving. The traffic going home was light compared to every other Bama game I’ve ever attended. We made it home long before dinner time and I happily napped as soon as I could get my tired and weary bones through the door and into the bed.

Today Jess left us to spend the next few days with her mother. She didn’t want to go (not that I blame her) but I tried to assure her that she wouldn’t miss much of the Aion head start and we’d see her again later this week. Our deal is that as long as her grades are up, she can play Aion. So far, that’s proving to be a GREAT motivator as far as school goes!

And speaking of Aion, I was able to get things sorted out with GoGamer. Our Aion packs arrived Friday afternoon. Jim and I ordered the Collector’s Edition, Jessie got the regular (and hers came in a very NICE tin!). Here’s a few pics I snapped that night after opening my box:

Incidentally, if you have also ordered the CE, you will want to read this article by The Aion Guy: How To Receive Your Aion Pre-Order Items!

What are your mood lifters?

On days where I bring my lunch to work, I usually sit at my desk and read my feeds. With all the things going on, I’ve found that most days I want stuff to keep me in good mood — or if I’m in a particularly bad one, to enhance my mood.

A couple days back, GeekSugar posted 10 Sites That Will Instantly Lift Your Mood. While the entries were pretty neat (I particularly enjoyed FML but it’s not really mood-lifting IMO), but honestly none of those I would visit when I was in need of a serious dose of smiles and gigglies.

These are my mood lifters, in no particular order:

• I Can Has Cheezburger? – LOLcats and LOLanimals own. ‘Nuff said.
• I Has a Hotdog! – Sister site to the ICHC, featuring LOLdogs of course. More awesomeness.
• Cute Overload – Introduced to this by my pal DocJeff, this never ceases to make me smile.
• ZooBorns – Announcements of baby zoo animals born all over the world. Entertaining and usually very educational. Dual-awesomeness.
• Cute Animals Channel on Today’s Big Thing – A daily feeding of furry funny video.
• Cukiság – A Hungarian cute animals site. Even though I usually don’t understand any of the text, the photos are cool.
• FurryTalk – A good site, with a mix of LOLpics, jokes, and inspirational animal stories.

I could name a few others, but these are the ones I hit every day. They’re good for a quick smile, and likely help keep me sane.

So what sites are your mood lifters?

To-Do List helps me keep it together

I’m a “list person”. I like lists. Especially “To Do” lists. I like outlining my goals and enjoy the sense of accomplishment I feel when I get to cross those items off. So naturally, I’ve been looking for a “list” type app for my iPhone.

I had spent several weeks looking for just the right application. I wanted something simple with the ability to export lists, and to have the ability to set recurring tasks. Jim had run across one and emailed me a recommendation: Concrete Software‘s To-Do List.

It has quickly become another iPhone app that I can’t live without. Not only can I use the recurring tasks feature to keep track of monthly, quarterly, and yearly bills and other recurring costs, I also use it for checklists for side projects, things I need to do at home, and more …

At the time of this post, To-Do List costs $2.99. If you’re a “list person” like me, you may find this a handy app to add to your GTD arsenal.

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