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Oh Lord, where did I go wrong?

This weekend, Jess and I were out and about taking care of errands and somehow our conversation gravitated to football. In the past, I’ve always loved when she would bring this subject up because it meant she was curious about what I thought about specific players, or when football season would begin, or to which games are we going this year, … that sort of thing. I’ve always enjoyed her interest in football, because not only was it something that she and I enjoyed together, it gave her a common interest with Jim as well! (I think he feels a little left out sometimes when she and I are discussing “girly things”)

Well, you can imagine my surprise when she hit me with: “I’ve been thinking about it and I’ve decided to be a Florida Gators fan!”

Wait — say what?

I’m not sure how it happened, but my ‘Bama lovin’ baby has been turned to the Dark Side!

Jim’s reaction to this was, “Well, at least she’s staying within the conference.”

Me, I suspect that a boy has something to do with it.

Do you see what I am saying?

“And my shoes began to squeak…”

5 points to whomever gets that reference!

I’ve had a lot going on lately, but honestly hadn’t had the energy or desire to sit down and write — or type, as it were. For anyone who hasn’t been reading/following me for a while, the more crap I have going on the more I unplug.

Not fun, but some of the crap has been kind of funny. I think the best way to sum this up would be in a meme-like format, so here goes:

In the last 30 days …

1. I’ve been called a baby killer.

This one is actually pretty funny now, but at the time it was a bit unnerving. Long story short: a website one of the studies that my department maintains experienced some down time. Because of this, a certain doctor involved in the study completely flips his shit and tells me and everyone else that because the website wasn’t up, a certain drug (which had a 50% chance of being a placebo) they are studying couldn’t be administered to a dying baby. The next day, the baby died (from a cause unrelated to the drug OR the study!), and the doctor implies that because of our “inaction” that we’re at fault. There was much panic about lawsuits, audits, and whether or not some of us would have a job …

Anyways, our boss, his boss, his boss’ boss, and that boss’ boss are all furious and said doctor has had his hide handed to him. One of my coworkers joked, “I haven’t been called a ‘baby killer’ since ‘Nam!”

2. I realized that I had erroneously packed up all available liquor in the house.

Funny enough, while the above-mentioned debacle was going on, I came home one day and realized that I needed a drink in a bad way — and couldn’t find a single drop anywhere! For whatever reason, I must have thought it would be a good idea to pack up all the alcohol and keep it in storage.

Good Lord, what was I thinking?

3. I’ve been turned down for a house loan.

Yeah, we were turned down. We’re not completely out of options, but part of me really wishes we had started trying a year sooner. I’d seen places that were practically giving away loans to anyone and everyone who applied.

*sigh*

Oh well, we’ll keep on plugging and I’ve no doubt that it will all turn out in the end — but the keeping the faith part is always hard.

4. I have been asked by a friend to match him up with a mistress.

Uh … do what?

Definitely one for the “sharing too much” category. I was catching up via email with an old friend. He went into great detail about how unhappy he is in his marriage, about how he wished he had married someone else, and so on. I feel bad for the guy, I really do … but when he suggested that I try to set him up with one of my girlfriends so he could “be happy with an affair”, I (as politely and courteously as I could) declined.

And I haven’t heard from him since.

Yikes … so, um, yeah.

5. I have had a new term suggested for Jim’s ex.

A friend of mine was listening to me rant about the latest drama stirred up by Jim’s ex over Jessie (which of course quickly became over me), she exclaimed, “Of course, she’s your stepwife!”

According to Word Spy, a stepwife is (in my case) the ex-wife of my husband.

Funny, I have plenty of other names to call her … but this is probably the most kid-safe!

She has seemed to have been in an uproar about anything and everything lately though. I was talking to Jim about a rather nasty remark she made to me one night and he replied, “You will always be ‘the other woman’ in her eyes.”

Oh give me a break.

Never mind that they ultimately split because Jim caught her cheating on him — REPEATEDLY! That said, there is some truth in what he said. For whatever reason, she has always seen me as her competition. Even now, despite the fact that I have been in Jessie’s life since she was 4, and the woman has even admitted TO ME that she thinks I’m a good influence on Jessie, she still goes off on this “I’m her mother and I will never let you forget it!” bullshit trip every time she has one of these manic (maniac) moments.

But I digress …

So those are most of the reasons why I’ve been burying my nose in a few fave books, catching up on some DVD’d tv shows, and pretty much avoiding the ‘net in general.

How’re y’all?

Seriously. How’s your day/week/month been?

Seriously miffed at WP.org

The release of my newest theme has been delayed. I had submitted it to WordPress.org yesterday for inclusion in the Theme Directory, as I have done my other themes. This morning I received a very vague rejection email and initiated a discussion as to why.

The long and short of it, I’ve posted to the WordPress.org forums, but to be honest I don’t expect anything to come of it. I would however like to hear your thoughts on the matter.

My post to the forums:

I submitted a new theme yesterday. Because I have several other themes listed here, I am already pretty familiar with the requirements, but always give them a quick once over to make sure that I haven’t forgotten anything.

I was a bit dismayed today to get the following in an email: “Thank you for submitting the Black Hat theme, however it has not been selected to be part of the theme directory.”

That’s it. Nothing else explaining why my theme was rejected. That in itself is disconcerting, so I requested more information. I’m then told “Themes from sites (or links to sites) that support non-GPL WordPress themes are not included in the theme directory.”

My theme’s style.css clearly states that the theme is released under the GPL license; this is also stated very clearly on the theme’s URI on my website.

I explained this and was then told: “Go back and look at your credit links, both in theme description and the footer of the theme. Specifically http://www.rubiqube.com/corporate-sandbox/ which has at least 3 ads for sites that support non-GPL themes.”

My theme is based on the Corporate Sandbox framework. I linked to the site crediting its author — not required, but morally the right thing to do IMO.

So my question is this: Has the theme directory submission been changed? If so, this is not listed anywhere on the requirements page. And when did credit links fall under this kind of scrutiny?

I understand that there needs to be some serious cleanup for some of the themes listed here, but this is taking it a bit far, don’t you think?

The man I credited has ads on his site. How many others here to submit themes have similar ads? Or use a premium theme with a link back to its creator?

I understand that if that’s the way the rules are now, that’s that … but for Pete’s sake, list them in detail where theme designers can see it!!!

Out of context, out of line?

This afternoon, Jim (unintentionally) gave me quite a scare. When last I saw him this morning, he was going to head by the house then on to work. I remember pulling onto the highway and watching him roll onto the lane going in the opposite direction. Fast forward to this afternoon, John called me at work asking me if I knew where Jim was. “What? He’s not there?” My mind raced. John had spoken to him not long after I last saw him and hadn’t seen nor heard from him since.

Long story short: Jim had sat down “for a few moments” at his desk and apparently had fallen asleep — he had been at home the whole time.

I was able to get a hold of him after calling the house a few times and he explained what happened. I fussed a small bit (not wanting to yell at work) and got my things together to leave for the day. A few co-workers had overheard and came by to make sure everything was ok. I was still pumped up on adrenaline and my blood-pressure I’m sure was through the roof. I jokingly replied, “Yeah. I’m going to beat him upside the head when I get home!”

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I say that in jest. In fact, I say that I’ll “beat his head in” all the time. I don’t beat my husband. I don’t beat my child. I laugh and carry-on, but it is entirely in jest. I do as my mother did — joke about it to keep from pulling my hair out and going crazy.

But what if someone had heard what I said, took it out of context, and called the police?

I ran across a Google Reader item shared by Ike Pigott linking to a post by someone who had something along those lines happen to her. Thordora had (in jest) commented on Twitter about bringing harm to her child, who wouldn’t go to sleep.

What NORMAL parent hasn’t uttered a snarky or humorously ludicrous remark out of frustration, annoyance, and dare I said it … love?

Someone following her tweets had local police notified of the “threat”. Officers arrived at her home and demanded to see her children (who obviously had not been harmed). Understandably, Thordora is upset with this person. (As I would be too!)

To me though, this reinforces something that I had come to realize through my experiences on other social networking services (mainly MySpace and Facebook) — careful who you “friend”.

Humpday Hilarities

This week’s edition courtesy of my mother and is a local one

Tailgating Dog

A lady was telling her son the other day that she saw a man driving down I-10 and a dog was hanging on the to the tailgate for dear life. She said if he hadn’t been going so fast in the other direction she would have tried to stop him.

A few weeks later her son saw this truck at the bass pro shop. It’s a taxidermist!

This is in Daphne, Alabama.

I’ve so GOT to find out who that guy is and ask what possessed him to stick his stuffed dog on his truck’s tailgate!

What kind of Alabama fan are you?

You know, there are times when I just have to say to myself, “You and your big mouth.”

I made the mistake some time ago of telling Jessie’s mother where I get my hair done. Jess and I went up there last weekend to get our hair done, and wouldn’t you know it, she was there. She and a friend of hers were getting their nails done, and the whole time she ran her mouth about how nice the place was and how she needed to start coming there on a regular basis to get her hair done.

I know, I should know better … I was naive enough to believe that she wouldn’t be stupid enough to actually go somewhere she knows that I frequent! The young lady who does my hair quickly realized who she was when Jessie walked up and said, “Hi Mommy,” and raised her eyebrows at me with a surprised “WTF?” expression on her face.

A side note: pretty much all of the staff in this shop have heard me tell stories over the years about this woman. Once the girl doing her nails realized who she was, she grew quiet. A girl who’s normally very chatty and friendly quickly became very intent on trying to quickly finish this woman’s nails.

So, Jessie’s mother sat there and ranted on and on about how big of an Alabama fan she was and how big of an Auburn fan her “boyfriend” was (the boyfriend being a man she’s admitted to chasing for years who’s recently become single), and how she didn’t see how long the relationship will last because she’s “betraying her team”, and how she can see herself becoming an Auburn fan to “make it work” …

Oh give me a freakin’ break!

She then makes a snide comment about my husband and how he’s an FSU fan. Big woop. The woman was in there getting her nails painted orange. ORANGE!!!!

What kind of self-respecting Alabama fan gets her nails done ORANGE???

Oh Good Lord, help me. This is the same woman who lives paycheck to paycheck and stays maxed out on her credit card limits, and complains about not being able to pay the utilities — and apparently just recently QUIT HER JOB! I’m guessing she’s living off her 401K, as she is still unemployed and says she’s going to go to school to become a medical transcriptionist.

And Heaven help me, once someone asked her what she was going to do about money, she starts telling the woman all about the “new job” (that she hasn’t even gone to school for yet!) and how much it will pay and how happier she’ll be.

That’s it, I’m beating my head into the wall until I can’t hear her brainless dribble any longer!

Well, long story shortened, she finally left forty-five minutes later. Once she was gone, the young lady doing my hair said, “OMG, I knew from you talking about her all this time that she was bad, but DAMN!”

LOL … yeah, she’ll make any sane person’s head explode.

Something that bothered me though, I saw a change in Jessie’s demeanor while her mother was in the shop. On the drive up there, Jessie was all bubbly and happy. That changed once she saw her mother. She became very withdrawn and said she wasn’t in a “chatty mood” when her stylist asked if she was OK. For years, my friends had often told me that I behaved the same way whenever my father was around. It was a bit unnerving to see that behavior in Jessie.

About a half hour after her mother left, Jessie finally started brightening up and returned to her cheery little self. Seeing that kind of change in her when she’s around her mother worries me — I fear she’ll grow up and turn out like me.

She deserves so much better.

As much as I love working for UAB…

… I hate hate HATE their insurance! :evil:

In all fairness, they have been pretty easy to deal with except when it comes to getting my Axert refills. Honestly, I’m having to jump through hoops just to get what my doctor has prescribed for me!

In this regard alone, they are WORSE than Blue Cross!

Weird wrong number

I’m sitting at my desk at work and my cell rings …

Caller: “Yes, this is XXXXX from XXXXXX. I’m calling in regards to your request.”
Me: “Pardon?”
Caller: “You requested some information from us regarding Corpus Christi real estate. Is this a convenient time?”
Me: “I’m sorry, you must have the wrong number.”
Caller: “Um, … *awkward pause* … Oh, my apologies then! Would you like to hear the pitch?”
Me: “Thank you, but no. Sorry. I’m not interested.”
Caller: “It will only take a moment of your time. I–”

~click~

I can forgive wrong number callers, easy peasy. I do it too. No biggie, just hang up and try again — but don’t call me by mistake and then expect me to listen to your sales smack. ;P

Because I’m not her mother

I’ve touched on this subject several times, but never really took the time to go in-depth. It started when Jim and I first started dating and became serious — he introduced me to Jessie. I instantly fell in love with this child (who had just turned 5 at the time) and to this day love her as if she were my very own.

From the beginning Jessie’s mother was averse to the idea of another “mother figure” being in her life and strongly objected to Jessie viewing me as an authority figure. At one point, Jessie called me “Momma”, but her mother pitched fits and would berate Jessie until she stopped. Growing up in a tumultuous household, I understand and can relate — but it does not ease my pain.

I have always tried to remain civil or friendly to Jessie’s mother for Jessie’s sake, and try very hard not to say anything negative against her when she’s around. However, that woman has no idea of the contempt and resentment I hold for her for those actions. To this day, it still brings tears to my eyes and is a very sore subject with me. Her mother saw fit to encourage Jessie to question my authority and if I exerted any, Jessie would quickly counter with “You’re not my mother!”

I never blamed Jessie — she’s a child and had no idea how much that hurt. But her mother is a grown woman and knows better.

Granted, things are getting better with Jessie, as far as my role as an authority figure goes; however, I have found now that there are bigger more serious roadblocks than her mother. It seems to me like little insignificant things — the kind of things that you wouldn’t think would prove difficult for a stepparent (or at least I didn’t until now). For instance, Jessie is on my insurance. I handle all of the paperwork and finances for our family — yet, I cannot even sign a form to check her out of school, approve field trips, find out how many days she’s missed, or even to send medicine when she’s got a cold. (and not sick enough to be out of school)

For example, I had to check Jessie out of school for an orthodontist appointment a few weeks back. Usually I make the appointments for in the morning, but she had a test that day and I had it changed to afternoon so she could be at school most of the day. I went to the school office and told them who I was and why I was there. I was told that because I am not her biological parent or a legal guardian, that I would have to wait while they call my husband to get an OK for her to check out. Never mind that I am the first on the emergency contact list, and that every time she’s gotten sick at school, she has specifically requested they call ME. Never mind that *I* am the one who handles everything in the event of emergencies. I asked one of the office staff why wouldn’t I be able to do anything because I’m her stepmother and was told that it was Jefferson County rules. This turned out to be false, as Jim called the county office. However, it seems we’ll need to meet with the principal to discuss this, as it’s actually HER rule.

No biggie in the grand scheme of things, rules are rules, and the school principal is a very nice woman who has worked with us on various issues before.

But it’s not just the school thing that bothers me. I have been trying for months to get Jessie’s mother to cancel her old insurance because Jessie is now covered on mine. I nagged this woman for the last 6 months straight and she STILL won’t do it! Today I took it upon myself to call the state office — it’s state-sponsored insurance (or “free” insurance, as her mother calls it) — and was told that because I was not her biological parent, they could not speak to me.

I can understand that … I have worked in the health care industry for over 10 years and understand all too well about HIPAA rules and PHI. However, I offered to have my insurance company’s office fax over her current coverage as proof that she’s covered, and that the old coverage could be canceled — which as I understand it, would have to happen, as kids on this insurance cannot be covered by anyone else, or it nullifies the coverage. The CSR refused my offer and I was told flat out that Jessie’s mother would have to contact them — I know that THAT will not happen because the woman is lazy and irresponsible!

So here I am typing up a cancellation request for Jessie’s mother. I’ll leave it for her to sign and I’ll pick it up later this week and fax it in to the insurance office. I figure if I do most of the work FOR HER, then she might help me out a little … but I digress …

I know it differs from state to state, but I have been wondering for a while what my rights ARE as a stepparent. I ran across this article in Time magazine, and though it’s a couple years old, reading it did not give me any new information that I hadn’t come across on my own. Something tells me that I’ll probably have to consult a lawyer to find out exactly what rights I *DO* have (if any!?).

Her mother insisted on splitting legal custody with Jim, but refuses to take any responsibility (financial or otherwise) when it comes to Jessie’s welfare. The fact of the matter is, she lives with us the majority of the time. She’s on my insurance. We buy the majority of her clothing and other needs. We pay all of her school-related costs and fees. We paid for her glasses and will be paying for her braces (the insurance covers only a small percentage of these and even though her mother offered at one time to help out with these costs, she now refuses).

The thought that really scares me is: if something were to ever happen to Jessie, and if Jim and her mother could not be reached, I cannot authorize any medical assistance.

Seriously … how screwed up is that?

I understand why it is the way it is … but it still breaks my heart. Jessie has a mother who has all the parental rights, but refuses to take responsibility — and here I am trying desperately to take responsibility, and I have no parental rights.

The Power of PMS

Growing up, my father used to say that PMS was something that women “made up” or that it was all in our minds.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. :roll:

PMS makes us behave in very strange ways. The moody roller coaster from Hades. The bizarre cravings. Crying every time a certain commercial comes on the TV. God help me, I can recall from memory several really bad experiences I’ve had thanks to PMS.

It makes us do really stupid things …

… like me waking my husband up at 3:30 in the morning so I can let him know that I’m still mad at him. :shock:

Ummm, yeah. Sorry ’bout that, Jim. :oops:

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