I have such a good man.

To my darling husband, Jim:

Happy Anniversary! I love you!

This is a post from Nicki Faulk’s Birthplace of the Process of Illogical Logic

Copyright © Nicki Faulk · All Rights Reserved

I had been ill off and on all last week, but it hit hardest Friday. And by that I mean I got DOWN with the sickness, LOL! Literally knocking me on my butt, and right into bed. I missed most of the Alabama vs Arkansas game, but woke up in time to hear Rammer Jammer being sung by the crowd in T’town. I missed WordCamp Birmingham entirely and am really bummed about that. (can someone let me know where the lecture notes are posted?)

I also missed a Ladies Night Out meeting, but was pretty sure I was going to miss it even before I got sick. I haven’t been to a meeting in a while and have been dying to join one of the karaoke outings.

Well, after 3 full days of sleep I am feeling much MUCH better! Of course I’ve spent half the morning clearing out emails and voicemails and will probably be doing so for most of the rest of the day today, LOL!

I took some time this morning to submit a new fanlisting that I’ve started:

I’ll be sure to post when it’s approved and “gone live.”

This is a post from Nicki Faulk’s Birthplace of the Process of Illogical Logic

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Q: What do you call Arkansas when they find out they can’t throw the ball on Alabama?
A: GroundHogs.

Q: What would happen if pigs could fly?
A: Bacon would go up.

Q:What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A: A piiig

Q: Did you hear the story about the razorback hog?
A: It’s pretty dull.

Q: How does a Petrino write up plays for Arkansas?
A: With a pig pen.

Two Arkansas grads were walking in the woods. One said, “Look! A dead bird.”
The other looked to the sky and said, “Where?”

What’s a seven course meal in Fayetteville?
A possum and a six-pack.

Where was OJ headed in his white Bronco?
To Arkansas. He knew the police would never look for a Heisman winner there.

What is the line heard most from graduates of Arkansas’ business school?
Would you like fries with that?

And this one I adapted from one of Cookie’s

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

“Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!”

Very good,” said her mother.

“Is it because I’m from Arkansas?” the girl said.

“Yes, it’s because you’re from Arkansas,” said the mommy

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

“Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled,”we were saying the alphabet, today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!”

“Very good,” said her mother.

“Is it because I’m from Arkansas, Mommy?”

“Yes, it’s because you’re from Arkansas.”

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

“Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled,”we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!” And she lifted her tank top to reveal a fully developed chest.

“Very good,” said her embarrassed mother.

“Is it because I’m from Arkansas, Mommy?”

“No, Honey, it’s because you’re 34.”

This is a post from Nicki Faulk’s Birthplace of the Process of Illogical Logic

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A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, “What are all those clocks?”

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”

“Oh”, said the man. “Whose clock is that?”

“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”

“Incredible”, said the man. “And whose clock is that one?”

St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”

“Where’s President Obama’s clock?”, asked the man.

“Obama’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”

I may have posted something similar to this before, but it’s still one of my faves. Courtesy of my mother:

Only Southerners

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a “hissie fit” and a “conniption fit,” and that you don’t “HAVE” them, you “PITCH” them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc…, make up “a mess.”

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of “yonder.”

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long “directly” is, as in: “Going to town, be back directly.”

Even Southern babies know that “Gimme some sugar” is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when “by and by” is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin’!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between “right near” and “a right far piece.” They also know that “just down the road” can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, and po’ white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, … and when we’re “in line,”… we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they’re related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, “y’all” is singular, “all y’all” is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, “Well, I caught myself lookin’,” you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say “sweet tea” and “sweet milk.” Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it — we do not like our tea unsweetened. “Sweet milk” means you don’t want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, “Bless her heart,” and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, … bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin’ to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y’all need a sign to hang on y’all’s front porch that reads “I ain’t from the South, but I got here as fast as I could!”

The emphasis on the tea thing is mine. It never ceases to amaze me how many of my clients don’t understand my passion for good sweet tea.

Moving right along, this funny is courtesy of my pal Don:

Secret Code

After the new president has been in office for 6 months it is customary for the last president to send a note of congratulations to the new one. So when the note came from Bush to Obama, the president was somewhat troubled because it was written in code and all it said was: 370H-SSV-0773H

This troubled him as he had always heard from his peers how former president Bush was perceived to have been scholarly challenged. So he took the note to his wife. She was unable to decipher it.

They called in the VP, and he was unable to decode the message. They called in the chief of staff and the head of the Secret Service detail and they were unable to determine the meaning of the note. Next he called in the head of the Senate and Speaker of the House. They both were mystified by the meaning of the coded message.

Now there was complete panic in the oval office. They called all of their contacts in the media and sent copies of the note to all of them, and not one was able to come up with an answer.

A special emergency meeting was called by the staff.. All branches of the military, counter intelligence, CIA, FBI were called in, and the best minds were unable crack the code. After a sleepless night, a now humbled President Obama picked up the phone and called the former president, and asked him the meaning of the note.

Bush chuckled and replied, “You’re holding the note upside down!”

And last but certainly not least, this funny is courtesy of my Cotillion sister, Kat:

Patriot Microchip

The Patriot Microchip is intended to be implanted in terrorists. The implant is specifically designed to be installed in the forehead. When properly installed it will allow the implantee to speak to God.

It comes in various sizes:

The exact size of the implant will be selected by a well-trained and highly-skilled technician. The implant may or may not be painless …

Side effects, such as headaches and nausea, are temporary. Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site.

Please enjoy the security we provide for you.

Best regards,

The United States Marines

This is a post from Nicki Faulk’s Birthplace of the Process of Illogical Logic

Copyright © Nicki Faulk · All Rights Reserved

Jess, Teresa and I spent yesterday in T’town. We went down there to watch the Tide take on North Texas. Jim was originally supposed to go with us, but he was kind enough to stay home to get our house ready to show to some prospective buyers. (Which, funny enough, he neglected to tell me about until Friday night when I got home and was already mad as a hornet for having spent 2 hours in traffic!)

We picked Teresa up in McCalla and headed down I-59. It rained the entire time. Once we reached Tuscaloosa, finding a parking spot was pretty tricky. The university has taken over some parking lots that were once public to reserve for Tide Pride members. We got lucky and parked by some friends in nearby apartments.

Hooray for friends!

It rained and rained and RAINED. Even though all three of us were wearing ponchos, we were still soaked to the bone. We walked all over the quad, visited various shop tents and after watching the Million Dollar Band do their usual pre-game routine, slowly made our way to Bryant-Denny stadium. It was at this point that it FINALLY quit raining. With the exception of a few drops here or there, the weather was pretty nice for the rest of the day! We made our way into the stadium and up to our seats and tried our best to dry out. About halfway into the game, the sun made its grand entrance.

Of course, the sunscreen I had put on yesterday morning before leaving the house had washed off … so I’m a little sunburned. This is the first game I’ve ever attended where I’ve been soaked and sunburned in the same day! LOL!

It was all a great day of fun though. The Tide looked really good. The halftime show was great. The MDB played a tribute to Motown. IMO the best part was the finale … they played ‘Thriller’ by Michael Jackson. All of the color guard and dance teams put on some raggedy clothes and danced as zombies like in the original video. It was awesome!!

The Tide won 53-7, so pretty early in the second half a lot of people were leaving. The traffic going home was light compared to every other Bama game I’ve ever attended. We made it home long before dinner time and I happily napped as soon as I could get my tired and weary bones through the door and into the bed.

Today Jess left us to spend the next few days with her mother. She didn’t want to go (not that I blame her) but I tried to assure her that she wouldn’t miss much of the Aion head start and we’d see her again later this week. Our deal is that as long as her grades are up, she can play Aion. So far, that’s proving to be a GREAT motivator as far as school goes!

And speaking of Aion, I was able to get things sorted out with GoGamer. Our Aion packs arrived Friday afternoon. Jim and I ordered the Collector’s Edition, Jessie got the regular (and hers came in a very NICE tin!). Here’s a few pics I snapped that night after opening my box:

Incidentally, if you have also ordered the CE, you will want to read this article by The Aion Guy: How To Receive Your Aion Pre-Order Items!

This is a post from Nicki Faulk’s Birthplace of the Process of Illogical Logic

Copyright © Nicki Faulk · All Rights Reserved

ROLL TIDE ROLL!

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Copyright © Nicki Faulk · All Rights Reserved

Today’s lunch surf session landed me on a lens (topic) at Squidoo on Bear Bryant. In case you don’t recognize my post’s title, that’s one of Bear’s quotes — one of my personal faves.

You know, it’s amazing that you can study a person, idolize them growing up, and still really NOT know everything about them. I remember hearing all the Alabama football “glory stories” growing up from both my parents and grandparents. I still remember watching Alabama play on TV. I remember watching The Bear Bryant Show on Sunday afternoons with my grandfather.

“Golden Flake and Coca-Cola … great pair, says ‘The Bear’!”

I remember the day he passed away. I remember watching his funeral on TV. Even at that young age, I knew that Alabama football wouldn’t be the same for a very long time. Hell, we got a pretty good coach right now. A lot of people say ole Nick reminds them of Bear. A lot of people (mostly other teams) tell us that we live in the past. But growing up here, how could you not? Over the years I’ve read and re-read some of my favorite Bear stories. There are tons of pages out there on the internet of quotes and tons of books about the man. Sure there, are tons of webpages and books on lots of worthless people, but their legends do not live on like Bear’s has!

So excuse me for being a living-breathing crimson-blooded outrageously-obnoxious Alabama fan, but Coach William Paul “Bear” Bryant was more than “just a coach” to me. He was more than a great motivator. He was more than a great leader. He was more than a friend, a confidant and a mentor to his players. He was a great man … and he was a veteran.

I didn’t know that last one. Did you?

I happily discovered via Wikipedia that Bear Bryant joined the US Navy following the bombing of Pearl Harbor. He served just off North Africa, but never saw any combat action. But the article does say that his ship, the SS Uruguay, was rammed by another ship and ordered to be abandoned. Bear disobeyed that order, which saved the lives of his men. It goes on to say that while in the Navy, he attained the rank of Lieutenant Commander.

The article goes on to describe the rest of his coaching career, but it surprised me that I hadn’t heard about his service before. I can’t say I’m surprised. Like I’ve always said Bear was a great man, and so many of our greatest can be found in our military. So many great men have served this great country before, and so many great men (and women!) are serving now.

While most will never gain Bear’s level of fame, if at all, they all richly deserve it in my eyes.

God bless your soul, Coach. And God bless our troops, vets, and those who love and support them!

This is a post from Nicki Faulk’s Birthplace of the Process of Illogical Logic

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Well, you can imagine my surprise when she hit me with: “I’ve been thinking about it and I’ve decided to be a Florida Gators fan!”

Wait — say what?

I’m not sure how it happened, but my ‘Bama lovin’ baby has been turned to the Dark Side!

Jim’s reaction to this was, “Well, at least she’s staying within the conference.”

Me, I suspect that a boy has something to do with it.

This is a post from Nicki Faulk’s Birthplace of the Process of Illogical Logic

Copyright © Nicki Faulk · All Rights Reserved

Jess and I have made this a yearly tradition and plan on meeting up with some friends and loved ones this Saturday in T’town. Also, I was just reading an announcement on The Birmingham News site that there will be a 7-on-7 game prior to kickoff featuring former Crimson Tide players and coaches. Sweet!

A little FYI: Gates typically open around 11, and the article says the flag football game is set for noon. (Get there EARLY!!) The A-Day game itself kicks off around 2. If you need parking information, traffic routes, maps, etc. I encourage you to visit the Alabama Game Day website.

Oh, and bring sunscreen … if you’re even half as white as me, you’ll need it!

ROLL TIDE ROLL!

This is a post from Nicki Faulk’s Birthplace of the Process of Illogical Logic

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An American Visit

Friday I chaperoned Jessie’s class field trip to American Village in Montevallo. Even with the bad weather coming through (tornadoes and rain galore, yuck!), we still had a very good time. And I tell ya, I really wish I had visited American Village when I was Jessie’s age … I think I would have looked at history a whole LOT differently!

I’ve suggested to Jim that we head down there one weekend for one of their events or sometime in the summer when the weather is a little more accommodating!

Despite the bad weather and dampened spirits (my Lord, I’ve never seen so many pouty faces in one place! LOL!), I did manage to snap off a few shots:

The Home Front

We had our first interested party view the house last week. Friday night, to be exact. Our realtor called this weekend to let us know that they liked the layout and wanted to come back and see it again. So this weekend we busted some tail and cleaned and painted the entire bottom level. Jessie hasn’t packed a whole lot because she’s with her mother more these days, so we’ll get around to finishing her room last.

I’m trying not to get TOO excited, but I can’t help but want to get my hopes up!

We still haven’t gotten an answer yet on whether or not we got the loan on the new house. More paperwork was needed and faxed off last week. I’m hoping we hear something this week.

OMG … snow? In the South?!

Yes, it snowed here. We received between 3 and 4 inches here. Some parts of Birmingham received up to 7 inches!!!

Jessie was at her mother’s, so I’m sure she had a good ole time in it. I did manage to get a few shots of the pretty white stuff before the other neighborhood kids ran amok and transformed it all to dirty snowballs and lumpy stick-wielding snowmen. :lol:

Pass the Halls!

Either it’s the irritants in the cleaners, the paint fumes, or being out in the rain all day Friday (or a combination of all three), but I have been sick all weekend and feel generally like death warmed over today. I traipsed in to work to discover that my machine was hosed, so I couldn’t have done much of anything productive even if I wanted to.

Everyone kept telling me I should’ve stayed home because I sounded terrible — I think I’ll take their advice and stay in tomorrow. *ugh*

And last but not least …

One of my themes has recently been featured in a WordPress tutorial over on YouTube:

A big thanks to Kristie for letting me know about it, and to ktinboulder for selecting my theme!

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I had been sitting in a meeting and had the good fortune to be sitting near a terminal with internet access. (Google to the rescue!) I ran across a reference on a local Star Wars forum to an event called “ImagiCon.” Another quick Google and I had found the website: ImagiCon.org. From the sound of it, it’s the same con, but renamed, with a spiffy website, and by the look of it a lot more to see this year.

YAY!

Ok, so who else is going?

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