Life is funny sometimes. When I sat down to compose this post, I was thinking about where I am right now in life and wondered, “Huh .. how did I get here?” Nearly 4 years ago, I posed the same question and had no hope. Now, things are different … not at all like I wanted, but it seems what I wanted wasn’t what I needed.
A lot has happened that I haven’t shared. Firstly, things with the new job are still going very well. I really like it there. It’s different, I have a lot more responsibility, which I really enjoy. I find I stay really busy and have little free time, but I don’t mind it so much. My boss teases me about becoming an “evil admin” because when I find a security policy lacking, my reaction is “OMG, seriously?!” and then proceed to make changes which of course pisses off my users. LOL
So yeah, work is good. Unexpected. Not what I thought I wanted. Exactly what I needed.
I spend a lot of my spare time still playing Aion, though not near as much as I used to. I’ve been spending a lot more time reading and watching anime. A few of you have asked so I thought I’d post an update. I’m ok. No, really. 🙂
Yes, Jim and I are getting divorced. For the moment, Jessie is staying only with him. I don’t know if that will be permanent. I’ll spare y’all the ugly details … we had a falling out, and so I sent her to her father’s. It hurts like hell, but she’s gotten out of control and thinks she knows what’s best for herself. I can’t help her, and she won’t listen to reason. I pray that maybe she’ll listen to her father, or maybe she’ll get some help. I can’t fix it, as much as that burns the hell out of me.
So, yeah, that’s where I am right now. It’s just me and Bruce now. (which reminds me, I have a ton of pics and stuff to post to his blog, with new toys he’s destroyed) He will sometimes sit outside Jessie’s room and look at me questioningly. My neighbor and I hang out sometimes, which helps. She’s dealing with her own mess with her husband (they are also separated). I’ve also been doing a lot of stuff with my department at work. We go out to eat and to the movies as a group pretty regularly, so it’s nice to have a group of friends to just hang out with away from everything else.
Let’s see, what else? I’ve been doing a lot of de-cluttering, both figuratively and literally. In fact, last week I let go of a site that I’d held onto for a very long time:
+===================================+ | Account Info | +===================================+ | Domain: bamaangels.org | UserName: sa +===================================+ Account was owned by root Account removed by root (root)
I dropped out of my official duties with Soldiers’ Angels after I was laid off, but had remained a regular member for some time. I don’t think I will go back to the level of responsibility that I had. It was overwhelming when I had the world caving in on me: the loss of my job, then my marriage breaking up, and the hell that accompanied those. I needed things to be lighter, simpler. Who knows, maybe I’ll step up again and be an advocate again, but I can’t right now. So I figured there was no sense in hanging onto the domain. I felt a slight pang of guilt deleting the site, my project files, and all the data I had accumulated over the years. SA has a special place in my heart and always will.
I’m in the process of rebooting my cooking site. I likely won’t design it. I haven’t done any “real” design work outside of this site, and even that was all code. It was a slap in the face when I was job hunting being told that I had been out of the business too long and shouldn’t have been calling myself a web designer anymore. Maybe that’s true. I like what I do now. I’m a sysadmin. I’m getting to do a lot more than other jobs would let me. I still think like a designer, but my varied background is serving me well because I have the ability to also think like an admin.
I was telling someone just last week that I miss being a web designer, but I don’t miss designing things for other people. People suck. 🙂
So anyways, I’m composing this post while sitting on Ventrilo talking with my Aion friends. I think they keep me sane some days. I hope this message meets you all well. I think all the time about how I should write more, then I get busy and forget. I’ll try to forget less, and maybe ponder more about what else I maybe don’t need in my life. 😉