The Tide rolls over Auburn 36-0

Rammer Jammer Yellowhammer, you gave them Hell, Alabama!

I have to admit, I’m enjoying every minute of this madness. Outside of a few missed calls and lousy announcers (CBS, you SUCK!), I have hollered and screamed my happy little heart out and am sitting here elated. The last time Alabama shut out Auburn was during the 1992 season.

*enter: Twilight Zone theme*

You GO, Tide! Be happy and celebrate your sweet little hearts out tonight. You’ve earned it. But come Monday, it’s back to the field and time to keep your eyes on the prize. Florida is going to give us a run for our money next weekend!

A lucky woman am I

I’ve enjoyed connecting with family and friends. I ate my fill of turkey, dressing, ham, a wide assortment of sweetened vegetable casseroles and colorful salads, and let’s not forget — my mother’s delicious Southern pecan pie. I watched my daughter play football with my father, then my husband, then I took a turn.

My God, she’s got a cannon for an arm! If she learns a little control, she’d make a decent QB. Look out, Bama, I’ve got one coming your way in a few years!

We’re sitting around listening to some Loreena McKennitt, anticipating the oncoming turkey-induced coma that follows such feasts as we’ve had today. My husband has been sitting here trying to talk me back into singing — and with everything I have going on, I admit that I have missed it. (Performing is another matter, but singing I love…)

I told Jim I’d think about it … and I am …

But in the meantime I’m happy sitting here enjoying the warmth and I’m thinking to myself, what a lucky woman I am. I hope everyone is having a great holiday.

Love and blessings to you all!

For what are you thankful?

During our Thanksgiving celebratory lunch today at work, someone posed this question: “For what are you thankful?” Most everyone had the same answers: family, work, health, …

The merriment continued, and a good time was had by all. After a round of desserts, I went back to my desk and quietly reflected. I would add one more item to that list of things for which I’m thankful — freedom. My Cotillion sister, RightwingSparkle summed it up nicely in her post earlier today: Freedom. It isn’t free, and it isn’t a gift.

While we were on vacation, I had the opportunity to meet a couple veterans and a soldier who were staying in our hotel, vacationing with their families. As I do here at home, I thanked them for their service and handed them a card with the Soldiers’ Angels information on it. One morning at breakfast, I thanked a Vietnam vet. He looked at me with warm, grateful eyes and stammered a quiet “Thank You.” His wife came by our table and thanked me a few minutes later with tears in her eyes.

No one had ever thanked him for his service.

As I’ve stated before, too often we take our liberties for granted. Sadly, those who have made those liberties possible, along with those who now defend them, don’t get anything near the recognition and thanks that they deserve. It saddens me to think that many never have, or quite possibly, never will.

Tomorrow, when you are thinking about those things for which you’re thankful, please remember freedom. If you get the chance, thank a soldier or thank a veteran. And if you are of the praying kind, please remember those in uniform who are out there defending our freedom.

Humpday Hilarities: Bama Edition

Yup, another ‘Awbarn’ joke this morning! This one is courtesy of the Times Daily forums.

An Auburn city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old farmer livin’ outside Tuscaloosa. The farmer’s prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The farmer only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the farmer and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the farmer agreed to take half of what he was asking.

After the farmer had signed the release and took the check, the Auburn lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success, telling the farmer, “You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”

The old farmer replied, “Well, I’ll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning.”

Iron Bowl week continues …

These are courtesy of the Tide Fans forums:

A recruit from Birmingham, a highly prized 5-star long snapper, was driving down to Auburn for his final visit. He had made the decision that the loveliest village on the plains would be his school. As he merged onto Hwy 15, he saw a sign that read, “Auburn University - Left.”

Disappointed, he turned around and went back home.

Alabama Power hired 3 Auburn players and 3 Alabama players to put up pole for the summer. The supervisor for both crews took them out and assigned the Auburn crew to put pole down one street and the Bama player down another.

At the end of the day both crews come back in to the shop and the supervisor asked the Bama crew, “how many poles did you guys plant today?” One of the players responded, “15.” The supervisor replied, “pretty good first day. Try to improve tomorrow.”

The supervisor then asked the Auburn crew, “how many poles did you guys plant today?” One of the players responded, “3.” The supervisor replied,”In eight hours you only planted 3 poles. I know this was your first day on the job but the Bama guys planted 15. What gives?” One of the Auburn players protested, “But boss, you should see how shallow they buried theirs!”

A man sitting on a bench in downtown Auburn noticed as two Auburn students in a “City of Auburn - Public Works” truck drove up and parked.

The students walked over by a long sidewalk where one proceeded to dig a hole with a shovel. As soon as he finished digging the other student took his shovel and proceeded to fill the hole back up with the dirt that had been dug out.

The man continued to watch. This went on until about fifty carefully spaced holes were dug and filled back in.

The man finally could stand it no longer. He walked over and said, “Guys, I admire your work ethic, you’ve been busting your tails big time. But why is one of you digging a hole and the other one filling it back up”?

The first student looked at the man and answered, “Well normally we’re a three man crew…but the student who plants the trees took the day off”.

ROLL TIDE!

Google knows football

I sniped this one from the Times Daily forums:

Click the image to view full size.

ROLL TIDE!

You might be an “Aubie” if …

• Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, “Hey, y’all watch this!”
• You’ve got more than one brother named ‘Darryl.’
• Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
• You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
• Your Junior/Senior Prom date had a Daycare service.
• You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
• You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
• You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
• The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
• You have to go outside to get something out of the ‘fridge.
• One of your kids was born on a pool table.
• Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
• You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
• You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
• Ya can’t get married to yer sweetheart ’cause there’s a law against it.
• You dated one of your parents’ current spouses in high school.
• You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
• Your school fight song is “Dueling Banjos.”
• Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

H/T: Dr. PhilGood

ROLL TIDE!

Christmas Meme

My best bud, Teresa, sent me this and I’m sharing my answers with y’all! 

Okay, here’s what you’re supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE! Just copy (not forward) this entire email and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person
that sent it to you……Tis the Season to be NICE!

(Obviously, this is not email … I’m posting to my blog for more funnery! )

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Usually wrapping paper, but I’m seriously thinking gift bags this year. (easier to carry!) Though “Santa” will most likely be wrapping!

2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial for now (it’s nice and pre-lit!). Real trees once we get a bigger house.

3. When do you put up the tree? First week of December.

4. When do you take the tree down? Before New Year’s if I’m lucky! LOL

5. Do you like eggnog? For the most part, yeah.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Lite-Brite

7. Hardest person to buy for? My father.

8. Easiest person to buy for? My niece.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes, we have 2.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail, baby!

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? (Well, I could actually name it, but Teresa’s answer sounds so much better than mine, LOL!) There is no bad Christmas gift, because at least that person thought of you.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Usually much later than I’d like.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes, shame on me — BUT, in my defense, I re-gift to someone who I know would really love and appreciate the gift more than I would!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Dressing! And Mother’s Peanut Butter Balls and Fudge.

16. Lights on the tree? As if there’s any other way to dress a tree???

17. Favorite Christmas song? I have several: “Silent Night”, “Angels We Have Heard on High”, and “O Holy Night”

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Travel a little, but mostly stay home.

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer’s? *sings* “You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. Buuuuuuut do you recall the most famous reindeer of all? Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer … “ (this is Jessie’s favorite Christmas song!)

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas Eve — I’m impatient!

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The crowds.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? Crimson!!!! (Duh?)

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Turkey and dressing!!

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? I have an Amazon wishlist that I’m compiling.

26. Who is most likely to respond to this? Ben, John, Miranda, … you?

Humpday Hilarities

Today’s funny bit comes courtesy of my pal, Cookie

Thanksgiving Divorce

A man in Jacksonville calls his son in San Diego the day before Thanksgiving and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Denver and tell her.”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!” She calls Jacksonville immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”

I don’t carry a gun …

… to kill people. I carry a gun to keep from being killed.

I don’t carry a gun to scare people. I carry a gun because sometimes this world can be a scary place.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m paranoid. I carry a gun because there are real threats in the world.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m evil. I carry a gun because I have lived long enough to see the evil in the world.

I don’t carry a gun because I hate the government. I carry a gun because I understand the limitations of government.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m angry. I carry a gun so that I don’t have to spend the rest of my life hating myself for failing to be prepared.

I don’t carry a gun because my sex organs are too small. I carry a gun because I want to continue to use those sex organs for the purpose for which they were intended for a good long time to come.

I don’t carry a gun because I want to shoot someone. I carry a gun because I want to die at a ripe old age in my bed, and not on a sidewalk somewhere tomorrow afternoon.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m a cowboy. I carry a gun because, when I die and go to heaven, I want to be a cowboy.

I don’t carry a gun to make me feel like a man. I carry a gun because men know how to take care of themselves and the ones they love.

I don’t carry a gun because I feel inadequate. I carry a gun because unarmed and facing three armed thugs, I am inadequate.

I don’t carry a gun because I love it. I carry a gun because I love life and the people who make it meaningful to me.

H/T: Jo’s Cafe and Front Sight, Press

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