Welcome aboard, Barracuda! :)

I had read a few rumors last night and was very pleased this morning to read (first on CNBC, then the Chicago Tribune) that Alaska Governor Sarah “Barracuda” Palin will be John McCain’s running mate.

SWEET!

Nicknamed “Barracuda” by her high school basketball team mates, Palin will, IMO, be a smart choice. Not only does she bring executive experience to the table, she’s a big supporter of our troops (a HUGE plus in my book!) as well as the global war on terrorism. She’s against wasteful government spending. Some prime examples of this: once she was in office, she got rid of the governor’s private plane and limo. She takes commercial flights and takes her SUV.

She has had a 80-90% approval rate. Guys will like her because not only is she pretty, she also hunts, fishes, and is an overall outstanding outdoorswoman. She’s a mother of 5, and will no doubt make a great Vice President.

In short: She is a man’s woman and a woman’s woman.

You can find a great bio here. Don’t take my word for it, look it up!

(H/T’s: Beth, Tammy Swofford, Bear Creek Ledger, Brian McDaniel, Zoey’s Blatherings)

Volvere Aestus Volvere!

Translation: “Roll, Tide, Roll!”

Good Friday everyone! I’m tickled to bits that football season is FINALLY HERE!! In celebration of this, I’ve a couple Bama wallpapers to share with y’all.

ROLL TIDE ROLL!

Humpday Hilarities

My mother sent in this one:

Who hasn’t had this happen to them?

You find something festive that you would like to slip into.

It seems a little small, but you’re QUITE SURE that in recent years, you’ve worn this size. So you work with it.

You try it on different ways…..

From different angles you examine yourself.

Finally, you admit that it does feel A LITTLE tight.

Someone offers you a larger size, which you find highly insulting.

I mean, it might be a tight fit, but you still look GOOD!

Hey, we have all been there!

RIP: Brave American

Someone once said, “A man’s bone and skin can be burned away into powder and ash, but what’s left is without form. Courage, duty and honor have no permanent home.”

Those words could not be truer in the case of John (”Johnny”) A. Nichols, Sr. He served our country proudly in the Vietnam war, and over the years afterwards in the Alabama National Guard (167 S.C.), retiring a few years ago with the rank of Master Sergent. Everything I’ve heard of this man over the years told me that he was a man of outstanding courage, duty, and honor, as well as discipline, compassion, and love. I see a lot of that man in my friend, his son, John.

His obituary in The Birmingham News read:

NICHOLS, JOHN ALFRED SR., 67, of Birmingham went home to be with the Lord on August 18, 2008. John will be remembered as a beloved father and husband. Visitation will be held on Wednesday, August 20 from 5:00 - 8:00 PM at Jefferson Memorial Funeral Home with chapel services beginning at 10AM on Thursday with Amy Vaughn officiating. Burial will follow in Jefferson Memorial Gardens East. Survivors include his wife, Deborah Martin Nichols; their daughter, Allison Nichols Gault (Geoff); their son, John Alfred Nichols Jr. (Miranda); nephew, James L. McCarty III and niece, Cathy Rogers (Doug); brother, Ed Maske (Marada); his beloved dog, Wiley and numerous friends and co-workers.

The funeral today was lovely. There were songs, fond memories, and tears shared by all who knew him. As we all stood around the grave site, the 167 S.C. — the men with which he had served — saluted, played Taps, and folded and presented the flag which was draped over the coffin to Mrs. Nichols. The service was beautiful.

I humbly ask that everyone please continue to keep John’s family and loved ones in your thoughts and prayers.

Humpday Hilarities

One of my coworkers sent me this:

The Female Demerit System

Do something she likes. You get points.
Do something she dislikes. Points are subtracted.
You do not get any points for doing something she expects.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her something she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)

… return with her favorite vodka (+25)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It is her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while and then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer (-20)
Tina has silicone implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+3) Okay. It is a sports bar (-2)
And it’s all you can eat night (-3)
It’s a sports bar, it’s all you can eat night and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

Ok, in all fairness to guys … if we’re there watching MY team +100 points. If we’re there watching HIS team, -100 points.

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It’s called Death Cop (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say ‘It doesn’t matter. You have one also.’ (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks ‘Do I look fat?’ (-5)
Yes, you lose points no matter what.
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply ‘Where?’ (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem you listen, displaying a concerned expression (0)
You listen 30 minutes (+50)
You listen 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

Jessie’s DS, and I has a LOL…

Jessie’s birthday was Saturday, but because her mother had her that day, we celebrated the night before by taking her out to a “very grown up” birthday dinner — at Logan’s Roadhouse.

We had a great time. Our waitress was a real sweetheart and hooked her up with a couple small goodies because it was her birthday. Towards the end of our meal, all the servers came around and clapped and hollered for her. She ate it up!

She opened our gifts after we ate. We gave her a crimson Nintendo DS with a Legend of Zelda game bundle. She freaked! LOL! She kept hugging the box saying “I knew it! I knew it! I knew I was getting this! I knew it!” She was so cute.

Of course now she’s got a lengthy game “wish list” going. Both Jim’s mom and my parents gave her money for her birthday, so now she’s DYING to go shopping! LOL! But at least she’s happy … she finally got her DS.

What’s that about a LOL?

While looking for a stock image for this post, I ran across a very cute image and was inspired to publish my first (PUBLIC!) LOLcat:

Wanna vote for my LOL? Clicky!!!

Prayer Request

This morning Jim called to let me know that John Nichols’ father has passed away. John is a dear sweet friend of ours, and is ultimately the reason Jim and I had met in the first place. He has been there for us over the years, and we love him and his family very much. Please keep John and his family in your thoughts and prayers.

Humpday Hilarities

Here’s this week’s edition, enjoy!

A young couple wanted to join the church, the pastor told them, ‘We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month.’

The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed ‘You are back so soon. Is there a problem?’ the pastor inquired.

‘We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month.’ the young man replied sadly.

The pastor asked him what happened.

‘Well, the first week was difficult. However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower.’

‘The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain.’

‘However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible, anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts.’

‘Then one afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat.’ admitted the man, shamefacedly.

The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, ‘You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church.’

‘We know.’ said the young man, hanging his head, ‘We’re not welcome at Home Depot either.’

Meme Time!

Teresa sent me this and I thought I’d post here for any of y’all that want to follow along …

Feel free to post your results in the comments!

New intern :)

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