I feel your pain. I have the same problem with my son. A teacher once refused to answer my email until my wife faxed a form authorizing them to talk to me. My son’s father is in Colombia and he has not seen his son in 6 years and talks to him 3-4 times /year. He sends no Christmas cards or birthday cards. He sends no money but we expect none. The problem is that this bum will not give up his parental rights. He views his son as some sort of property that he owns but wants no responsibility for. If something happens to my wife, he has every legal right to take my son back to Colombia and separate him from his sister. Can you imagine having to live your life in a poor country that is in the middle of a civil war and on the U.S. State Department’s “do not travel” list? My son can’t even speak spanish.

zoey’s last blog post: scott mcclellan: no class whatsoever

Thanks for stopping by, and the encouraging words. It’s funny, my husband has said some of the things in the comments here. (maybe I should listen to him more? hehe)

I know it will all work out for the best in the end … it’s just trying to see the forest is hard because of all the trees in the way.

I agree with the prior poster – someday Jessie will realize just how truly stellar the mom-figure (ie, you) in her life truly is. Age gives wisdom…and your time will come. You are to be commended for taking the high road, indeed.

Best wishes,

Barbara

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Thanks, Jeffie.

@Conservative Belle: “Honey, God makes special women to be second mommies (aka stepmoms). You are one of them. You have character and strength that Jessie needs. That is why you are in her life. (((((HUGS))))))”

Thanks, hon. I’ve no doubt that God put us together because each of us gives something to the other that we need. Jim’s mother told me once that she saw an instant change in Jessie when I came into her life and that no matter how badly I think I’m doing, she sees the good in Jessie come out whenever she’s with me. It was one of the best things anyone could say to me. That child really is a gem, and it kills me to think that sometimes I think her mother can’t see it.

@Miranda: “I can’t believe all the crap that woman has put you and Jim through. Thankfully Jessie has an incredible role model to look up to, and one of these days she’s going to look back and be truly thankful for everything you did for her.”

Thank you, sweetie. That’s what Jim says too. And I have to admit, I’ve noticed it more over the last couple of years, Jessie trusts me to handle things when it really counts (in emergencies, when she’s sick, etc.), and part of me feels sorry for her mother because I know it will only get worse for HER as Jessie gets older.

@Rick: “If they split custody, can’t Jim just give his approval for you to do those things? At my school, if you’re on the emergency card, that’s good enough for us. Sorry to hear you’re running into roadblocks….that has to be frustrating as a stepparent.”

Well, used to having Jim’s approval on file at the school was enough, but they’ve changed their policies in the last year. A few staff in the school office know me and have no problem bending the rules for me, but a couple are sticklers (which I wholeheartedly understand) and stick to the rulebook on these things.

@Devilish Souther Belle: “That is a truly tough situation you find yourself in, and I can see how it is heartbreaking. I do hope at least the principal at school will work with you on this. It’s a shame Jessie’s bio mother can’t see past her own selfishness to the best interests of her child.”

The principal has worked with us on other things before and I think when we sit down and talk to her, we can come to an arrangement that suits everyone. She’s a pretty reasonable woman … just finding time to get together with her when both we and she are not all busy is the key.

“I’m not sure whether Jessie can’t be covered on your insurance if she’s still on state, or if she’s not supposed to be on state insurance if she is covered elsewhere. But if it’s the latter, I’d just give up if her bio mom won’t cancel it after all this. I’d be tempted to tip the state off to her fraud, though!”

It’s ALL Kids insurance and one rep told me that she can’t be covered by anything else, but when I called again last night to ask for their fax number, another told me she COULD be covered by both. Either way, her mother now wants to cancel it, but she’s too lazy to do it herself. :rolls eyes:

Anyway, I’m gonna keep nagging her until she signs the damned form. I figure eventually she will do it just to shut me up.

I’m not sure whether Jessie can’t be covered on your insurance if she’s still on state, or if she’s not supposed to be on state insurance if she is covered elsewhere. But if it’s the latter, I’d just give up if her bio mom won’t cancel it after all this. I’d be tempted to tip the state off to her fraud, though!

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(((((HUGS))))))

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