I’ve been wanting to blog this just so I could get it out of my system, but the truth is I’m too angry to effectively articulate my feelings on the matter. I’ve spent the last few days ignoring a lot of things that I normally love to do. I haven’t been eating or sleeping. I feel like I’m in an emotional limbo …
Remember how I told you that my folks were going to let me have their old Toyota? Well, that plan has gone to shit and it flew directly out the window. For the last 4 days I’ve argued with Dad over that stupid car, over my stupid car, and Jim’s stupid car. (Yes, they are all ‘stupid’ cars when I’m upset.)
The chicken-pot-pie of it all is that the Toyota is ready for use, but Dad refuses to let me have it until Jim removes his car from my property … which won’t happen because 1.) It’s not driveable, so he’d have to pay to have it towed (after already having his insurance pay to have it towed to the house from Lakeshore). 2.) He doesn’t know WHERE to have it towed TO because he hasn’t found the exact engine he needs yet. 3.) I am removing my car anyways so there’s no need.
But noooooooooooooooooooo, Dad wants it his way or no way at all … so he’s been dangling that car in front of me, trying to use it as leverage to get his way. So needless to say, our conversations this week have not been pleasant. To make things worse, I had gotten upset Wednesday night over something Dad said to me, so Jim called over there and told Dad exactly what he thought about this whole situation and him.
Apparently Jim standing up for me is a bad thing?
So now Dad’s pissed at me AND Jim, and refuses to budge on the issue — which really shouldn’t be an issue at all IMO, and I don’t understand why he’s being this way about it.
Personally, I’d prefer to have Jim’s car at the house to make it look like someone’s home while we’re at work. Plus, as soon as he gets the money, it WILL be fixed. So why all the fuss?
I don’t fucking get it, and I probably never will.
So I don’t know what we’re going to do about this whole mess. Jim’s mom has been out of town since Tuesday and last time we spoke, I told her that I would have a car by this weekend (most likely), and that we wouldn’t need her SUV anymore. She’s been kind enough to let us use it the last couple of weeks, and I can’t impose on her any longer.
So I guess I need to either scrounge up some dough and get a POS that will run for a couple years, or see if some dealership is willing to work with me considering my credit and maybe I can get something nice used.
I can’t take this crap between me/Jim and my family anymore. And I will NOT put up with it at Thanksgiving/Christmas like I did last year. Either Dad accepts that Jim and Jessie are a part of my life now and gets over his fears/insecurities, or accept that if they are not welcome neither am I and I will do my own thing from now on.
I had hoped it would not come to that, and am still hoping … but it’s not looking good.
If you’re the praying kind, please send some my way … something has got to give soon, before I do.